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Volume 05, Issue 09 Get Over It

So they denied you your well deserved promotion. Get over it. She cheated on you. Get over it. He broke up with you, dumped you for your best friend. Get over it. You lost the investment, the business deal flopped big time, drowning your life’s savings. Get over it. They stole your business idea. Get over it. The doctor said you got cancer. Get over it.

Life may not fair, but nobody owes you anything. You did not get short-changed. You can get past the disappointment and frustration and still make it to your desired end.

You can be pitiful or powerful. But you can never be both. As you face setbacks on your journey, remind yourself that you are game. You are equipped, anointed, and empowered.

Your story ends in victory. God has already arranged a come-back for every set back, a vindication for every accusation, a new beginning for every hurt. No matter how tough the going gets, dig in your feet and fight the good fight of faith.

The storms will come, but determine to not be defeated. You may go through the fire, but purpose to come out stronger. For the forces that are for you are greater than the forces that are against you.

Job faced tremendous trials, but he came out with twice as much as he had before. When you get over it, you position yourself for double. Don’t be pitiful when you can be powerful.

Nothing in life has happened to you, it has happened for you. It’s not going to keep you from your destiny; it will thrust you into it. You are not defined by your past; by what happened. You are prepared by it.

Lillian Chebosi



 

Volume 05, Issue 08: How to Honour the Sabbath

Keeping the Sabbath for ones like me has to be intentional. I am a neat freak. I clean and organize all the time. I am happy running a wash and sprucing up the house all the time. I actually find satisfaction in such mundane tasks. For me to keep the Sabbath rest I have to be real intentional about it.

I love reading. My best pass time is being cozy at home reading a book or writing. But I haven’t always recognized this as my Sabbath activity. Sometimes I do it for production and on those occasions, it can’t count for a Sabbath activity.

For those of us with young families, we need to get away from the mad rush that characterizes Sunday mornings in our homes and develop practices that will help our children value the Sabbath. Make the Sabbath a special day when you slow down as a family and do activities that strengthen your bond and build your legacy.

What are the things that can help us honour the Lord’s Sabbath correctly?

Unplug from all work, from the fast pace of life and the rat race and mad rush that typifies living in the fast lane today. Unplug from the hurry and anxiety, and the temptation to check every notification on your phone. Do no work but rest.

Do only what is restful for your body, for your soul, for your mind, and what recharges your batteries.

Sabbath rest means doing what is restful for your body, what is refreshing for your soul, what is revitalizing for your mind, and what recharges your batteries. Honour the Lord’s Sabbath by taking time to refresh your soul in a way that is uniquely you.

For some people, this means being friends, for some its cooking, for other its listening to music, or watching movies, or reading, and for others its being out in nature, you know, going out for hikes and mountain climbing kind of activities.

However, we spoil our rest if rest has to be productive. If on my Sabbath day I put myself under pressure to finish reading a book so I can speak on the subject at a soon coming seminar, then I ruin my Sabbath. If you love baking, and it’s something you do on your Sabbath day, you usually try out a new cake recipe. If on a particular Sabbath you feel under pressure to bake like 5 cakes because you have several visitations to make in the coming week, then this is no longer rest but production. It is work, something you should do on a day other than your Sabbath day of rest.

Sabbath means worship and gathering with the Lord’s people. We cannot separate spending time in God’s presence from the Sabbath. It’s refreshing to me to realize that God considers my setting my work aside to rest as an act of worship. This reveals the caring nature of our God. He cares enough for us to want us to get some rest. How nice.

Sabbath rest applies to our employees and servants as well. In spite of the needs of our young families, we need to figure out how to ensure our servants get a full Sabbath’s rest. We break God’s command if we don’t give our workers the opportunity to honour the Lord’s Sabbath.

If you are a young mother where getting everybody ready for church on a Sunday morning is nothing short of crazy, let alone getting through meal preparations and feeds for the day and preparing the kids for school the next day, maybe a Saturday evening church service is just what you need. This way you can have your house girl help you get the kids ready for church on Saturday afternoon, help with meal preparations for Sunday before hand, so that come Sunday morning or Saturday evening, she is free to take her Sabbath rest, and you too can have Sunday free from all the hustle and bustle.

The reality of life is that we have to do our grocery shopping, attend meetings, clean and wash this and that. But not on the Sabbath.

If we are going to honour the Sabbath, we need to prepare beforehand and be intentional about it. One of the 6 days that we work should be dedicated to do all the things that would be a distraction on the Sabbath. Running errands, grocery shopping, business meetings, and so on. Whatever it is that you have to do, do it then so that on the Sabbath day you can rest.

Plan ahead if you are going to honour the Sabbath as you should. Don’t expect it to just happen. If there are meals that need to be prepared, do it before. If there’s washing and house cleaning to be done, plan for that. Then you can rest on your Sabbath day and don’t need to do those things.

Now, all these sound nice and dandy. But life doesn’t always follow our plans. There are times when emergencies come up. Jesus healed a man on the Sabbath. The one thing we cannot exclude from the Sabbath is to be kind, to extend God’s grace and to be a blessing. Occasionally, your donkey will fall in a hole. Do what is needful and rescue it. But there’s something wrong if your donkey keeps falling in a hole every other Sabbath. Something is wrong if you always have to wash on a Sabbath. That’s your lack of preparation for the Sabbath.

The Sabbath is not a burden. It should be a day we look forward to. The Sabbath is our gift to rest.

Lillian Chebosi

 

Volume 05, Issue 07: Sabbath Rest


I get so excited when I learn something new. Sometimes it’s not something entirely new but something I knew at the back of my mind, but the way I come across it again makes it an aha moment for me. I have always known about keeping the Sabbath day holy, after all, it’s one of the Ten Commandments. But coming across it now has brought such new revelation for me.

I work half day on Fridays, and for some unknown reason, I never want to have anything scheduled for Friday afternoon. I just want to go home and rest or read. I do my grocery shopping for the week and salon visit before then, finish with the week’s laundry at the latest Friday morning. I never even want to cook or take care of any meal preparations that afternoon. My Saturdays are flexible. I spend most of them at home with family and reading when I don’t have a ministry engagement, a learning event, a visitation or attending a social function. Come Sunday morning it’s a rush at my house, at least for me. It appears the rest of the family understands it’s time to slow down. I make a special breakfast and I get upset if we don’t leave the house on time for church service because I don’t want to be late for worship. After 2 hours in church, we go back home and I spend about two hours in the kitchen preparing lunch and cleaning up after. Lately I have found myself sneaking in some laundry work on Sunday mornings. I quickly run a wash or two in the washer and spend time airing the laundry.

This week I got a great revelation. I have not been having a full Sabbath rest. I psychologically split it between Friday afternoon and part of Sunday. Bottom line is, I have not been observing and honouring the Lord’s Sabbath.

This is the one commandment that many of us break without noticing. I am guilty as charged. Most of us think that the fourth commandment is all about going to Church on Sunday morning. God had more in mind when he commanded us to keep the Sabbath holy.

God requires us to do all our work in 6 days and rest on the 7th day. Interesting to note is that the 7th day isn’t necessarily a Sunday. A pastor’s Sabbath day for instance can’t certainly be on a Sunday because he/she is working that day running church services. Likewise, your Sabbath day doesn’t necessarily have to be a Sunday. God did not specify which day of the week is the 7th day, and depending on our schedules, this day can vary from house to house, from person to person.

The Sabbath is not the kind of rush we put ourselves and children through on Sunday morning. It is about rest and joy. Keeping the Sabbath day holy is about dedicating 1 day of the week for rest and celebration, where we unplug from all our work and the rush and demands of life.

The foundations for keeping the Sabbath are as follows;

  • God commanded it. The Sabbath is about obedience (Exodus 20:8-11).
  • The Sabbath is a sign between us and God that we belong to him (Ezekiel 20:12).
  • The Sabbath is a sign and symbol to our children and generations to come that God has made us holy (Exodus 31:13).
  • If we treat the Sabbath as a day of joy and rest by refusing to carry on business as usual, God promises to bless us (Isaiah 58:13-14).
  • If we obey the command to rest and not use it for production or to get ahead, God will look after our needs (Exodus 16:4).

The Sabbath is not our day off work when we get to run around running errands, shopping, cleaning, or doing our own thing. These activities constitute work.

The Sabbath is not doing anything else except our usual work. Sabbath rest means unplugging from all work.

Lillian Chebosi














 

Volume 05, Issue 06: Where Can We Get Time?

Having said that time is the one thing needful as parents in the last issue, where do we get time from?

We borrow time from ourselves.

Sometimes opportunities come to take away our time with our children. We have to make tough decisions to have time for our children.

If you need to offload things, most of the time they are of good value, do it to make time for your children. Prioritize parenthood. There are times when we have to say, “If I can’t come with my children, I can’t come.”

You can put career advancement on hold but you cannot put raising your children on hold. You can always go back to advance your studies, to pursue your career, but you cannot go back to raise your children. If you don’t raise them now, they will grow in stature but they will not grow in wisdom and life skills.

On the day of reckoning, it is time spent with your children that will make the difference in their lives.

Most of us delegate or neglect the core aspects of loving our families because we are busy with other things. Neglect teaches children that they are not worth your time. Children feel successful when they around their parents. As they get older, they feel successful when are with their friends.

Give your children time in their early years, so that when they are older and no longer want to be around you much, they are ready to be with their peers. They are well developed in their emotions, self worth, confidence and value system to make good choices.

Where can we get time? Borrow from ourselves. We can offload certain things. See which of these possibilities may work for you to increase time with your children;

 

  • Let your schedule revolve around their schedule
  • Borrow time from yourself – wake up early so that by the time they are up, you are available, not busy with chores
  • Move your home near your office or vice versa, so that you have more time with them before and after work
  • Ditch the school bus and drop them to school yourself
  • Show up for their functions, be there for all their significant days
  • Pay the penalty to miss the chama
  • Go with them to your meetings, functions and errands whenever possible
  • Take deliberate leave days to increase your hours with your children
  • Leave work on time
  • Don’t carry work home
  • Cut off TV on weekdays
  • Settle for a less demanding job when your children need you most

 

 

Lillian Chebosi

 

 

 

Volume 05, Issue 05: Time: The One Thing Needful

Everything in life teaches us that we cannot cheat time. Be it career, or schooling or vocation or relationships. We reap what we sow.  It is no different when it comes to raising children.

We all want good children, but good children don’t just happen, good children are raised. What does time mean when it comes to raising children? It means being available to instruct, to train, to discipline, to manage and to draw near to our children. We cannot do any of these things by remote control, we have to be available.

Children interpret intimacy with time. As parents, we do a lot for our children, but the one thing needful is time – being there. We cannot substitute time with anything else. We cannot substitute presence with presents.

Let’s do a little exercise. Calculate the number of hours a week you spend with your children. How many hours a month does that translate to? And how many days a month, how many days a year? Do the math.

Time does not lie. It is not about the activities you are doing, it is about being there. Although children don’t know anything about quality time, they just want time with us; sometimes we have a lot of quantity time, but we need to go for quality time too.

Why is time the one thing needful? What is it about time that makes it the one thing needful? If children see you around, and know you are here to stay, it eliminates inhibitions. You won’t be a stranger to them.

Time says I know you are here now, and you will be here tomorrow, so you will be here to follow it up. Time says you belong here, therefore what I commit to you will be retained here. Time with our children means that we will walk with them, carry their burdens.

Your children want to become like you and beyond. Sometimes they know you have made mistakes, but because you are here, you are their hero. Our children are not looking for the perfect us, they are looking for the present us.

Time is so important such that if you bring in a relative to your home and he or she is more available, your children’s loyalty shifts to him or her. A majority of child abusers are people who are always present.

 

Lillian Chebosi