Equipping young women professionals with young families to find fulfillment, contentment and joy as mothers and home makers without losing sight of who they are as women.

Volume 02, Issue 26: Explore Your Passions

Playing to our strengths is living on purpose. It is about doing what we love to do, what we can do well and accomplishing what is important to us. That may be more than one thing for each of us.

I was elated when I realized that we are not wired to love to do just one thing. Each of us may have one overreaching passion, but neatly tied to our overall purpose is a set of other passions. Don’t limit yourself to your first discovery. Explore your passions and find channels of expressing them in living out your purpose.

Your skill of applying your gift grows with learning and practice. Over time as we employ our gifts, the channels for their expression changes and expands, but our purpose remains the same. Allow yourself room for flexibility in the expression of your gift.

Choose to lead a fulfilling life, a life you love and feel great about. Embrace purpose-driven living. Pursue the positive desires of your heart while you work hard at developing your passions to transform them into finely polished competencies.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 02, Issue 25: Build on the Best you Have

How do we play to our strengths if we don’t believe that our strengths would make a difference? There is a reason why our make-up draws us to certain things and repels us from others. Each of us is wired to do certain things exceptionally well, and have fun in the process.

The absence of belief in our strengths and the pressure to improve our fault lines keeps us busy patching up cracks; to make us at least good, if not average at everything. And we label this self development.

Self development is about improving our strengths, not our weaknesses. We can only go so far in trying to improve our weaknesses. Fixing our weaknesses isn’t the way to go. We would never be great by patching up our weaknesses, because we could never be the best at them regardless of how much we improved. However, there’s endless room for improvement when it comes to developing our strengths.

We grow most where we are already strong. Our weaknesses will never become our areas of greatest opportunity. This does not mean that we ignore our weaknesses but we need not spend immoderate amounts of time trying to convert them into strengths. They will never be.  Build on your strengths and manage around your weaknesses.

Personal development is building on the best you have; your strengths, not your weaknesses. Dare to go against the grain and play to your strengths. Believe in your natural abilities and passions, and work hard at developing them into finely polished competencies; then make your contribution to the world with them.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 02, Issue 24: Playing to Our Strengths

Growing up, our parents and teachers pushed us to get A’s in all subjects. Like everybody else, there were subjects that were obvious A’s and B’s for you. But there was at least one notorious subject where you scored a D. Taking home the report card on closing day, our parents would drill us and even spank us for getting a D, sometimes neglecting to praise us for the A’s that populated our report cards. The focus was on our areas of weakness.

We were expected to be good at everything. So, we grew up thinking that fixing our weaknesses was the way to go. Having grown up that way, some of us are finding ourselves applying the same principles to our children, pushing them to turn their one or two notorious D’s into A’s. We even experience it at work as supervisors and supervisees where we are expected and expect others to work on improving their fault lines.

But think about it. Isn’t building on our strengths as opposed to fixing our weaknesses what will make us more successful? We can’t ignore our weaknesses but they will never become areas of our greatest opportunity. We grow most where we are already strong.

You need to become really specific about what your strengths are. Your personality doesn’t change as you grow older. As you grow older you become more of who you already are now. Your values, dreams and aspirations will change but the core of who you are and your personality remains the same.

Your weaknesses are not your areas of opportunity. You grow most in your areas of greatest strengths. Address your weaknesses but they are areas of your least opportunity. Build on your strengths and manage around your weaknesses.

In this light, shouldn’t we put more emphasis on the subjects that our children score highly in; and instead of pushing them to work harder on their D subjects, try and find out why they are doing poorly in them? We may find that the problem is in the method of teaching by a particular teacher, or something else; and addressing that could improve the D to a C, and be ok with that as we support them to get better and better in the areas they are already good at.

You will be your most creative, most productive, and most fulfilled when you discover how to play to your strengths.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 02, Issue 23: Happiness is an Inside Job

If you are like me, you know people who fault others for their unhappiness. There are people busy blaming their circumstances, relatives, and even the government for the lack of happiness in their lives. It is always someone’s fault that things are not working for them.

Well, it’s nobody fault. And the worst part is that this attitude offers no solution to their status. And while they waste time at this blame game, they lose opportunities to do what they can to do to find fulfillment.

Your happiness is nobody’s responsibility; it’s entirely up to you to be happy. Although our loved ones bring happiness into our lives, it is not your spouse’s or children’s job to make you happy. You are responsible for being happy, the world does not owe you anything. The government doesn’t owe you a job. And even if it gave you one, you would probably still be unhappy, because it is not a job or money that makes one happy.

Happiness depends on your personal development. When you do the things that make you feel strong and successful, you will spend your days happy. When you find the things that God wired you to do and discipline yourself to do them, you will be happy. When you make it a priority to feed your mind every day with material that build and inspire you, you will be happy. When you make spiritual development a priority by disciplining yourself to spend quality time in prayer and in the word of God, you will be happy. When you find and create opportunities to do the things you love to do, you will be happy.

When you get established in these things, then where you are and what people around you are doing or not doing for you become irrelevant. You will find joy and fulfillment in your preoccupations. You will look forward to each day because you will be happy with your life. Your loved ones may still not regard you the way you want them to, but you will be happy anyway.

Personal development helps you discover who you are and what God build you to do and love to do. When you do, you will find ways to concentrate your work in line with what you love to do, the activities that strengthen you. You will make it upon yourself to surround yourself with people who build and motivate you, and stay away from those who belittle your ambition and bring you down.

Happiness is an inside job. Being satisfied and fulfilled in life is about personal development. Quit blaming others and your circumstances for your unhappiness. Arise and develop yourself, then you will be undoubtedly happy.

Lillian Chebosi

Woman of Virtue

I am a huge fun of the woman many would love to hate. She is a great role model for me, and I am a work in progress for most of her qualities. As I strive to equip myself and others to be better, I would like to help us move closer to embracing this woman of virtue by considering some of her qualities.

Virtue is something we all want to be full of. We want to be graceful and gracious, and do everything with excellence. A virtuous and capable wife is more precious than rubies. (Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies).

Here is a woman who does it all and has mastered the art of balancing her life. She is a woman who can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, make her man feel like a man, raise successful children, keep her household running smoothly, be a thriving entrepreneur, and still have time to reach out to others. Wow!

• She fears the Lord

Above all else, she fears the Lord. It is evident in her character and her speech. Her behaviour does not violate God’s Word. (Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised).

For fear of the Lord, she conducts herself in a fashion that is beyond reproach. She strives to be a woman approved by God.

She opens her mouth with wisdom and the law of kindness is on her tongue. From her servants to people she works with, to her own husband and children, she treats everyone with kindness, humility, and respect. (Proverbs 31:26 She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue).

She doesn’t just open her mouth to speak anyhow. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. Her language is clean and edifying.

• She builds herself up

She doesn’t wait for anyone to encourage her. She knows how to strengthen herself spiritually, intellectually, physically, socially, and emotionally. (Proverbs 31:17 She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms).

She recognizes that how she lives out her days is how she’s living her life. She develops daily habits that will build her up in all areas of life. (Proverbs 31:25 Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come).

What are you doing daily to build yourself? We don’t choose our destiny but we choose our habits. And our habits determine our destiny. Habits make good virtues almost instinctive, for we are made in such a way that whatever we repeat periodically becomes second nature to us.

She dresses up elegantly – in fine linen and royal gowns. (Proverbs 31:22 She makes tapestry for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple).

This woman doesn’t dress just to cover nakedness. She pays close attention to her appearance, both during the day and at night. She enjoys looking her best and makes an effort to stay attractive to her husband. Her style is classic, simple and contemporary, while always exhibiting a high-level look.

• She is an Excellent Wife

She is an exceptional wife. She has won the heart of her husband. (Proverbs 31:11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain).

She greatly enriches her husband’s life. She does not withhold good from him and brings him no harm, all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:12 She does him good and not evil, all the days of her life).

This woman does not delegate or neglect the core aspects of loving her husband. She plans and prioritizes her time to be efficient and effective, and applies her will to do the important things in her life.

She represents her husband well, she doesn't bad mouth him; he is well spoken of and esteemed. She does not disrespect or dishonor her husband. (Proverbs 31:23 Her husband is known in the gates, where he sits among the elders of the land).

She is a great support to him, and she does not compete for leadership with him. She stands by him and rallies behind him to help him fulfill his vision.

• She is an Excellent Mother

She is an exceptional mother. She does not delegate o neglect the core aspects of loving her children. This woman does not withhold her time and attention, and whatever is good from her children.

She prays with them and over them.

She listens to them, and reassures and encourages them.

She teaches and trains them in the way that they should go, thereby ensuring that they do not go astray and lose out in life.

She showers them with love and affection, both physically and verbally. This woman openly and extravagantly expresses love to her children.

She approves, accepts and affirms them, hence building their self-worth and confidence.
She disciplines them, driving foolishness far from her children; and thus preparing them to succeed in life.

She makes disciples of them. This woman is a great role model for her children.

Her children adore her. They rise up and bless her. (Proverbs31:28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her).

• She is an excellent home maker and runs her household well

She takes charge of her household. She carefully watches over everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. (Proverbs 31:27 She watches over the affairs of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness).

She has foresight, prepares well and is not lazy. She is clothed with strength and dignity, and is well prepared for all seasons of life. She is not fearful of the future. (Proverbs 31:21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet).

She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. (Proverbs 31:15 She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and portions for her maidservants).

Even though she has helpers, she watches over what is going on in her house. She is in the know and in control.

She does not view domesticity as something that is beneath her, but rather something to be mastered and personalized to her specific design. To her, housework is an honourable privilege, an avenue of creative expression as well as a revelation of her spirit to her family and guests.

Her house is comfortable and inviting. Despite being under tremendous pressure to be productive in the market place, she takes the time to make her home a safe haven for herself and her family to retreat to for refreshment and nourishment.

She makes her home beautiful. She has an eye for the finer things and cultivates good taste in her household, turning her house into a home.

She does not neglect or delegate the core aspects of cooking and planning meals for her household. She realizes that food represents more than just a regular meal. It represents her love, security, care, and even comfort to the ones she serves. She appreciates that cooking is part of the art of homemaking and develops this area of her life.

• She is diligent and savvy in her market place assignment

She makes money. She is entrepreneurial, industrial and resourceful. (Proverbs 13:14 She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar).

She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. (Proverbs 31:13 She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands).

She is diligent, rising up early and going to bed late. She has mastered her skill so well that her clients are willing to pay whatever she asks for her goods. (Proverbs 31:18 She perceives that her merchandise is good, and her lamp does not go out by night).

She throws herself into work with passion and chooses to revel in productivity. (Proverbs 31:19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle).

She pursues work in the area of her gifting. She has turned her passion into profit. (Proverbs 31:24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies sashes for the merchants).

She carefully chooses from among her natural gifts and develops them into a productive craft with which she blesses others and brings her personal joy and satisfaction.

She is good at noticing and making use of good deals and bargains. (Proverbs 31:16 She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard).

She engages in profitable business, working hard for her success. She contributes to the family wealth.

This woman is on top of her money. She is a good investor and manages her finances well.

• She is loving and compassionate towards others
  

She is not self absorbed. She reaches out to those less fortunate than herself. (Proverbs 31:20 She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy).

Even after her husband, children and servants are well taken care of, she extends herself to help the poor and needy in her community.

Lillian Chebosi