Volume 07, Issue 17: Respond and Keep Winning

I recently found myself in a waiting situation. I was working on a project with a contractor who was facing some internal challenges unknown to me, that resulted in delays in implementation of the project. The delays were so unpleasant I found myself getting frustrated day after day. My relief came the day I decided I wasn’t going to wait for the contractor anymore, that I was going to get on with the business of living and enjoy my life. At that moment, I decided I wasn’t going to call the contractor anymore, and that I wasn’t going to care when his staff came. I went to the site and rearranged the environment to restore normalcy the best way I could.

God may not always get rid of what’s bothering us. Sometimes God chooses to strengthen us and enable us to endure the challenge with a good attitude – Joyce Meyer. Whatever your challenge is today, determine to respond with a good attitude. Besides, being miserable doesn’t make things any better.

I have learnt that you can be happy while you have a problem, while you are waiting for something that has delayed. The problem or delay doesn’t go away because you are sad or agitated, but a happy spirit makes the burden lighter.

I returned to my former state of happiness even though the situation hadn’t been resolved. The funny, you could say annoying thing is that no sooner had I resolved to not care, and rearranged my environment to work for me than the contractor came back on site to finish the job. It was like the delay was engineered to test my patience. Things started moving again after I passed the attitude test.

I recently read Sundar Pichai, an IT-MIT Alumnus’ cockroach management theory for self-development. He told of a cockroach that flew from somewhere and sat on a lady at a restaurant. The lady started screaming out of fear. With a panic-stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky. The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away, but it landed on another lady in the group. Now, it was the turn of this other lady to continue the drama. The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.

Ask yourself, was the cockroach responsible for the ladies’ dramatic behavior? If so, why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.

It was not the cockroach, but their inability to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies. It wasn’t the delay that disturbed me, but my inability to deal with the delay that disturbed me.

It is not the shouting of your father or your boss or your wife that disturbs you, but it’s your inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs you. It is not the noisiness of the children in your neighborhood that disturbs you but your inability to deal with the disturbance caused by their noise that disturbs you.

It is not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me. It is not your neighbor or coworker constantly packing on your parking slot that disturbs you, but your inability to deal with the inconvenience caused by his parking that disturbs you.

It is not the political situation in the country that disturbs us, but our inability to handle the disturbance caused by the situation that disturbs us. It is not whether votes are stolen or not stolen that disturbs us but our inability to handle the disturbance caused by the situation that disturbs us.

More than the problem, it is my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life.

Don’t react in life, always respond. The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded. I reacted to the delay and got agitated. Reactions are always instinctive, whereas responses are always well thought of.

A person who is happy is happy not because everything is right in his life. He is happy because his attitude towards everything in life is right. Respond to issues, don’t react, and keep winning.

Lillian Chebosi