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Nurture a Quiet Spirit
Inspired by the story of Abigail (1 Samuel 25)

Abigail had just returned from cleaning up the mess her husband had made by offending David. When her servant told her what had happened, she calmed everyone down and shifted into damage-control mode. She quickly gathered resources and rode off to meet David to apologize on behalf of her husband.

Returning home after successfully talking David out of his plot to take fatal revenge on her entire household, she finds her husband having a party. Given the stress she had just endured, it would have taken a lot of restraint not to interrupt his celebration and tell him of what a fool he had been.

But Abigail resisted the urge to confront her husband. She kept her cool and turned in for the night. She left him to his revelry and took time to collect and center herself. The next morning over breakfast she calmly related what had happened the previous day. Nabal had a fit. Abigail’s response to his outburst is not recorded; perhaps she had none.

How do you handle times when your man is upset with you and he is letting it fly? Do you raise your voice too; give him a piece of your mind, especially when you know he is wrong? Have you found responding furiously to fury productive? Some would say “You’ve got to fight fire with fire,” but I beg to differ.

How do you respond when offended, or misjudged?  Most of the time we are itching to be heard; we want the other person to hear our argument. We can’t wait to launch a counter-attack, and defend ourselves. We wish to vent out and get back at the one who has aggravated us. As women, we would like to let our words fly off the handle when our men act out of character.

From the story of Abigail, we see the power in being calm and collected in the midst of chaos. We need to embrace the wonderful truth that unlike men, we can win our battles without flexing a muscle. And we don’t have to raise our voice to be heard either.

Conflicts are best resolved in a state of calmness. As we encounter conflicts at home, we ought to consider our actions and their consequences before reacting on impulse. We have to desist from reacting in a destructive manner. Walk softly and consider all the facts before reacting or responding emotionally. Measure your words and choose wisdom over foolishness.

You’ve got to maintain your composure even when your man is losing his. Master the art of self-control in your life. Exercises discretion and prudence, moving and acting carefully regardless of what is going on around you.

Self-control does not always feel good initially. Sometimes you just want to let it fly when someone aggravates you. But when you consider what the outcome of that situation would be, wisdom assures you it would be far better to keep your mouth shut.

Be able to maintain a reputation for great poise despite the kind of situations you may have to constantly deal with. Learn how to be silent, and refuse to give more credit to the offense. Do what you can to maintain peace in your surroundings and allow God to handle what you cannot.

Lillian Chebosi