Equipping young women professionals with young families to find fulfillment, contentment and joy as mothers and home makers without losing sight of who they are as women.

Volume 13, Issue 27: Jumpstart Your Day

At the onset of a sluggish day, it helps to think of what you want to accomplish - how you want to feel at the end of the day. This would motivate you to get going with doing what you need to do, so that when the day is done, you will have the feeling you are after.

The few mornings when I am tempted to ignore my alarm, or to get out of bed, switch off the alarm then snuggle back in bed, I ask myself, "Which of my morning rituals am I willing to sacrifice today for the extra time in bed?" I quickly realize that a few more minutes in bed is not worth the loss. Nonetheless, I occasionally continue laying in bed debating, maybe even doze off a few times.

And when I finally get out of bed and get started with my early morning routine, I often make the decision to not skip any of my rituals despite having lost the time slots for some of them. This of course causes friction on my calendar for the second and third blocks of my morning. But the reason I do it is because of how I want to feel at the end of the day.

As you set out for this day and new week, how do you want to feel at the end of the day, and at the end of the week? What do you need to do now, or at some point today, and the day after in order to feel this way?

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 13, Issue 26: Turn Failures Into Lessons

While out for my walk at 5 o'clock this morning, a young lady stopped me. She didn't know where she was. She remained disoriented even after I told her the name on the road we were on and the name of the adjacent road. I asked her where she wanted to go, and she asked me for cash to go there. I didn't have cash on me and I advised her to wait for daylight to figure out her bearings but she was displeased and walked away.

As I continued walking, I kept asking myself how I could help her, but nothing else came to mind. After I finished my walk, I found her inside my estate gate talking brashly to the guards, demanding to be helped with money to go home. I now noticed that she had socks on but no shoes, and I heard her say that all she had with her had been stolen during the night. I didn't stop, I continued thinking that her best solution is to wait for daylight. I assumed she would stay on at gate until daylight, at which point she would have many opportunities to be assisted by any of the people going through. I also made a mental note to go back to the gate after daylight to see how to assist her.

But as I got ready to take a shower, it occurred to me that she must be cold. So I hurried to get a warm jumper and a pair of shoes and rushed downstairs to take them to her to wait in as she sobered up, awaiting daylight. Unfortunately she was already gone. The guards had sent her away. I walked back to my house dejected. I had failed that young lady. I hadn't been a good samaritan to her.

Finding her at my gate after my walk was my second opportunity to help her. But I missed it. I felt I should have thought of the stuff earlier and requested the guards to let her stay while I went in to get her stuff to keep warm in. I could have encouraged her to stay on until she was sober enough to remember a contact to call from my phone for someone to come get her, or found cash for her.

This experience taught me that I may have failed to get it right this time, but I now know what to do the next time something similar happens. After ascertaining my safety around the stranger, I would pay close attention to their appearance and body language to register what they need, consider how I can meet the need and communicate the same.

Can you think of a time when you failed? If you were to review the experience in a more useful way as opposed to putting yourself down for failing, what would be your narrative? What would the experience teach you?

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 13, Issue 25: Work Hard

Many outcomes in life require effort. Some outcomes require effort and luck. Some outcomes require only luck. So what is one to do when the requirement for an outcome is known or unknown? Work hard.

You can never go wrong with working hard. When you work hard, you get what you are in pursuit of if the results depend on effort alone. When you work hard and the results depend on effort and luck, you rest assured that you did all you could to influence the outcome. When you work hard and the results depend on luck alone, whether or not you get the outcome, you are better off for having exerted yourself.

Working hard in the right things builds you up, irrespective of whether or not you attain what you are pursuing. You are never worse off for working hard. Working hard always leaves you in a better place than you were before you put in the effort.

Working hard has several intrinsic benefits, regardless of whether you achieve the specific goal you are aiming for. These include character building, skill development, self-improvement, confidence building, learning experience, habit formation, resilience, sense of purpose, positive reputation and intrinsic satisfaction.

"Work hard. If results depend on effort, then you will carry yourself far. If results depend on effort and luck, then you will have done what you can do to influence the outcome. If results depend on luck alone, then the outcome is random, but you will have won the battle with yourself." James Clear.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 13, Issue 24: Keep The Momentum

In the pursuit of a goal, focusing on the end result may be daunting. In other cases, the end result may be so big that you think cheating every now and then would be inconsequential. In both cases, you may choose to allow yourself to miss showing up on some days.

Skipping days on your activities breaks the momentum. In some cases, every time you skip days, you have to start on the goal all over again. And it takes awhile to build your momentum back up. Skipping days compromises your ability to achieve your goal, and how long it takes you to achieve it, if at all.

In the long run, it's actually easier to show up everyday. I noticed this with dusting my floors. My house is always clean because I take 20 minutes to give my entire house a good dusting every day. When I skip days, I have to spend more time on the task to get the floors back to clean again. As such, skipping days isn't worth it for me. It costs me more than the easy daily cost of 20 minutes.

When I make the mistake to skip days on my morning workout and walk, I pay the price of struggling to regain momentum, and feeling itchy when I resume walking - having to bear the discomfort over time until it wears out. I could talk of many other examples, but you get the point. Daily actions aren't that hard, and they deliver results, if we keep the momentum going day by day.

I like how James Clear put it in one his weekly posts last August. "It's not that hard on any given day, but the trick is you can't skip days. Your workout can be reasonable and still deliver results - if you don't skip days. Your writing sessions can be short and the work will still accumulate - if you don't skip days. As long as you're working, you'll get there."

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 13, Issue 23: Live A Great Life

There are many ways to live a great life. Yet some of us limit our happiness to certain outcomes. I was elated to comprehend that I can still have a great life even if some of the outcomes I pursue don't materialize.

As much as we all want certain things in life, we don't always get what we want, when we want them. But this doesn't mean that we can't have a great life. After all, there are many ways to live a great life.

Not everyone who desires marriage gets married. Equally so, not everyone who is married has a great marriage. Not every couple gets children. As such, we should not allow the quality of our lives to be dictated by what we get or don't get.

If God designed each of us to be happy only if we have certain things, then He wouldn't instruct us to rejoice at all times. He knows that we don't always have what we want, yet He commands us to be always joyful. This means that He wants us to have a great life irrespective of what we have or don't have.

As such, going by your circumstances, you should believe,

• "Even if I stay single, I'll still have a great life."
• "Even if my marriage never improves, I'll still have a great life."
• "Even if I never get children, I'll still have a great life."
• "Even if I don't get into this school, I'll still have a great life."
• "Even if I don't get this job, I'll still have a great life."
• "Even if I don't succeed with this business, I'll still have a great life."

The way to live is from a position of power. The Bible says that "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind." We may not have everything we want, but we have power among other great tools. We should therefore not allow our circumstances keep us from having a great life.

Sure, you may want to get married, or to get children, or for the relationship to work or to get your next job quickly - and you give it your best effort. But you should realize that if it doesn't work out, you will be just fine.

When you explore life from a position of power, you do your best for the things you want, but you are not hang up on what doesn't work out. You choose to live a great life anyway, because there are many ways to live a great life.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi