Equipping young women professionals with young families to find fulfillment, contentment and joy as mothers and home makers without losing sight of who they are as women.

Volume 13, Issue 30: Choose Your "How"

Life has a way of surprising us. In some cases, a young individual may lose both parents tragically and find themselves in a position of having to take care of their younger siblings.

Sometimes, a wife may lose a husband and have to step up to be the sole breadwinner and parent to her children. Other times, incapacitation, or divorce, or a spouse's loss of a job, or their refusal to find paying work may leave the other spouse with the sole responsibility of taking care of a household.

In some instances, a chronic illness of a child, or spouse, or parent may require an individual to commit themselves to the responsibility of being a dedicated caregiver to the ailing family member.

Sometimes, parents find themselves having to bear the weight of dealing with a difficult or rebellious teenager. Yet still, an individual in the prime of life may find themselves struck with a debilitating illness, or unemployed for an extended period.

There are burdens that we bring upon ourselves by our own irresponsible actions. But there are also those that we just find ourselves in. As James Clear nicely put it, "You don't always get to choose the load, but you can choose how to carry it."

Once you admit and comprehend the load in front of you, you can come to your senses and deliberate with yourself how you are going to go about carrying the load. Granted, the situation may be difficult, and/or painful, and/or unfair, but you get to choose how are going to show up in the situation. That is entirely your prerogative.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 13, Issue 29: Make It Effortless

There are actions that we must or want to take each day to make life beautiful. Yet sometimes we dread to take them because of the effort involved in taking them. But there's a better way, a way that would ensure that we stay motivated to take the actions and do so without fail.

If it's cleaning your house, can you think of ways to make the task effortless? Can you simply the process?

If it's exercising, can you think of ways to make your workouts pleasurable? Is there music you would like to listen to while you exercise? Can you shifts your workouts to ones that you find pleasurable?

If it is reading, can you focus on reading material that is interesting and enjoyable to you? Could you do find a reading place that feels luxurious to you?

For mundane tasks such as cooking or cleaning or ironing, can you plan to turn on captivating podcasts to listen to while you do them?

Just because things have to be done doesn't mean they have to be hard. Life is to be enjoyed. So find ways to simplify your life. Find ways to make your activities effortless.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 13, Issue 28: Good Days

If you are anything like me, you want your days to count for something. You want your days to be great and productive. You want to feel accomplished at the end of the day. Even on a day you have set aside for rest, you want to know that you not only rested well, but that you also ticked some productivity boxes that did not take away from your rest.

You may also be the type of person who wants to look back at your day or week and feel that you served well, and that you loved the people that were in your path. You want to feel that you showed up well, and as such honored God in the way you lived.

We are not the kind of people who are content to sit around watching shows all day when in between jobs. Rather, we are the kind of people who find and make opportunities to be productively engaged in activities that meaningfully occupy our days. We also maximize opportunities for growth and learning.

Even in a waiting season that can be challenging, we are intentional about having good days. We cultivate habits that have us do things that make us feel successful. Irrespective of the season you are currently in, consider reflecting on these questions from James Clear. "When you are living a good day, what is one habit that tends to be part of that day? Can you find time for that habit today?"

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 13, Issue 27: Jumpstart Your Day

At the onset of a sluggish day, it helps to think of what you want to accomplish - how you want to feel at the end of the day. This would motivate you to get going with doing what you need to do, so that when the day is done, you will have the feeling you are after.

The few mornings when I am tempted to ignore my alarm, or to get out of bed, switch off the alarm then snuggle back in bed, I ask myself, "Which of my morning rituals am I willing to sacrifice today for the extra time in bed?" I quickly realize that a few more minutes in bed is not worth the loss. Nonetheless, I occasionally continue laying in bed debating, maybe even doze off a few times.

And when I finally get out of bed and get started with my early morning routine, I often make the decision to not skip any of my rituals despite having lost the time slots for some of them. This of course causes friction on my calendar for the second and third blocks of my morning. But the reason I do it is because of how I want to feel at the end of the day.

As you set out for this day and new week, how do you want to feel at the end of the day, and at the end of the week? What do you need to do now, or at some point today, and the day after in order to feel this way?

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 13, Issue 26: Turn Failures Into Lessons

While out for my walk at 5 o'clock this morning, a young lady stopped me. She didn't know where she was. She remained disoriented even after I told her the name on the road we were on and the name of the adjacent road. I asked her where she wanted to go, and she asked me for cash to go there. I didn't have cash on me and I advised her to wait for daylight to figure out her bearings but she was displeased and walked away.

As I continued walking, I kept asking myself how I could help her, but nothing else came to mind. After I finished my walk, I found her inside my estate gate talking brashly to the guards, demanding to be helped with money to go home. I now noticed that she had socks on but no shoes, and I heard her say that all she had with her had been stolen during the night. I didn't stop, I continued thinking that her best solution is to wait for daylight. I assumed she would stay on at gate until daylight, at which point she would have many opportunities to be assisted by any of the people going through. I also made a mental note to go back to the gate after daylight to see how to assist her.

But as I got ready to take a shower, it occurred to me that she must be cold. So I hurried to get a warm jumper and a pair of shoes and rushed downstairs to take them to her to wait in as she sobered up, awaiting daylight. Unfortunately she was already gone. The guards had sent her away. I walked back to my house dejected. I had failed that young lady. I hadn't been a good samaritan to her.

Finding her at my gate after my walk was my second opportunity to help her. But I missed it. I felt I should have thought of the stuff earlier and requested the guards to let her stay while I went in to get her stuff to keep warm in. I could have encouraged her to stay on until she was sober enough to remember a contact to call from my phone for someone to come get her, or found cash for her.

This experience taught me that I may have failed to get it right this time, but I now know what to do the next time something similar happens. After ascertaining my safety around the stranger, I would pay close attention to their appearance and body language to register what they need, consider how I can meet the need and communicate the same.

Can you think of a time when you failed? If you were to review the experience in a more useful way as opposed to putting yourself down for failing, what would be your narrative? What would the experience teach you?

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi