Equipping young women professionals with young families to find fulfillment, contentment and joy as mothers and home makers without losing sight of who they are as women.

Volume 10, Issue 35: I'll Have More Tomorrow

I am taking time for extended rest for the next four weeks. I started a YouVersion Bible plan titled "Making Time To Rest" at the beginning of the week to get me started in the right direction. I was particularly inspired by today's reading to the point of making some decisions for when I go back to work. Here is what the author had to say in the last day of the plan.

The reason we need rest is because we have been working or exerting energy is some way. And just because we learn how to rest and may feel rested doesn't mean we will stay that way. We will work again. We will help others again. We will be emotionally drained again.

Getting rest for the sake of rest is not the whole point. We rest and get rest so that we can work again. There's a beautiful ebb and flow of working and resting; of being filled up so that we can pour out. We find rest as we do the practices that fill us back up daily. We can't think that one week of vacation will carry us through for months and months. We must make daily deposits in our rest buckets to endure. And we have to be paying attention when too many withdrawals have been made.

In his book, Leading on Empty: Refilling Your Tank and Refueling Your Passion, author and pastor Wayne Cordeiro tells about a dream he had. A woman approached a farmer at his farm and asked him for something he didn't have. He said, "Come back tomorrow, and I'll have more." She was upset but it didn't bother him. He just kept working. People came to his farm everyday and when he was out of eggs or milk, he would simply say, "Come back tomorrow, and I'll have more."

Pastor Cordeiro shared this newfound view he had after the dream: I don't have to tie myself to an imaginary, unrelenting cycle to produce more, make more or try to outdo last week's numbers. I have just so much time in the day, and i want to do what I can with all my heart involved. When the clock runs out, then I'll say, "Come back tomorrow, and I'll have more." We wake up each day with a certain amount of mental, emotional and physical energy. When we have poured out everything we have to give, we must rest. When we are in this empty state, there is less of us to get in the way of God's work in our lives. Lean in, be still and rest.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 10, Issue 34: Turning Adversaries into Ambassadors

How does he do it, remove our opposition? And why does the Lord remove our opposition even long after we asked him and we have learnt to co-exist with the opposition? Why does he still remove them? Because he is a faithful God who does what is good for us in his own time.

God doesn't ignore our prayers, he answers each one of them. Sometimes with a "yes" right away, sometimes with a "no", and sometimes with a "wait". A "no" is good for us just as much as a "yes" is good for us. And a "wait" is just as good for us as an immediate "yes" because God teaches us valuable lessons in the wait and changes our hearts.

Late last year I came into some serious opposition at work. God removed two of my fiercest foes at the beginning of this year, then another that I could live with towards the middle of the year. And now, when I am no longer bothered about it, he removes yet another, the last one in the pack.

What is so special about the wait is that God used this time to work on my heart. I have come to love and respect these last two adversaries. Both of them have been routing for me, shouting my praises on the rooftop, and on their way out, offering to take me with them to their greener pastures. Can you believe that? I can, because the Bible says that when God approves of your life, even your enemies end up shaking your hand - Proverbs 16:7 MSG.

Who makes enemies pack up and leave when they are on a winning streak? Who turns fierce foes into ambassadors? Things that only God can do. Isn't it amazing? It blows my mind away. God rewrites our stories. He makes all things, even our pain and difficulties work together for our good. Whatever your struggles this season, hang in there and do your best to repay evil with good. Trust God and maintain a good attitude. You will be amazed to see what God is doing behind the scenes.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 10, Issue 33: I Can't Come Down

Ever since I studied one of Rachel Scott's YouVersion Bible plans a few weeks ago, I can't wait to get some time in my hands to study the rest of her plans and digest her message. Rachel is the founder of "I Can't Come Down" movement.

I am doing something great and I can't come down. That's what I got from Rachel. This is taken from the story of Nehemiah when he had to overcome distractions to complete the work of rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem. His enemies Sanballat and Geshem sent him messages to go meet with them. Knowing their ill intentions, he responded, "I am doing a great work; I can't come down. Why should the work come to a standstill just so I can come down to see you?"

“When Sanballat, Tobiah, Geshem the Arab, and the rest of our enemies heard that I had rebuilt the wall and that there were no more breaks in it—even though I hadn’t yet installed the gates—Sanballat and Geshem sent this message: “Come and meet with us at Kephirim in the valley of Ono.” I knew they were scheming to hurt me so I sent messengers back with this: “I’m doing a great work; I can’t come down. Why should the work come to a standstill just so I can come down to see you?”” ‭‭Nehemiah‬ ‭6:2-3‬ ‭MSG‬‬.

I am doing something great and I can't come down. Don't you just feel like saying that when you feel bombarded with invitations, or feel left out for not being able to accept invitations? Reading Rachel Scott's message validated me that I am as normal as I can be. There is nothing abnormal about turning down even seemingly good invitations in seasons when your plate consumes all your attention.

Your something great right now could be raising your children, maintaining your marriage, starting a business, growing your career, recovering from exhaustion, taking care of a sick loved one. These, and others like them are valid reasons to turn down invitations for seemingly good things that would either overstretch you, or distract you from your great work.

I am doing something great and I can't come down. What do you need to say "No" to in this season? What invitations do you need to stop being guilt-tricked into accepting so that you can focus on the great work that your life should be all about in this season of your life? Which groups of people do you need to stay away from to help you focus on becoming the best version of yourself this season? Just respond with, "I am doing something great and I can't come down."

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 10, Issue 32: We don't "Have to", We "Get to"

One of the chores I do most Sunday mornings before making breakfast is scrub my kitchen counters and polish cabinets. Most Saturday afternoons I do a quick grocery shopping for the following week. I listened to a podcast by a life coach named Valorie Burton the other day that reminded me of how we can take for granted, or worse still allow ourselves to be burdened by the things we do.

Do you find yourself often making statements like, "I have to go to work", or "I have to drop my kids to school" (before COVID), or "I have to go to the market", or "I have to take my car to the car wash," or "I have to call my aunt", or " I have to clean my seats".

The words "have to" carry with them a sense obligation and even stress. If we really think about it, doing the things I listed above and others like them is truly of a privilege, not an obligation. Switching the words "have to" with "get to" helps us regard the things we need to do positively. It brings a sense of energy and enthusiasm to our to do lists.

Last weekend my daughter's class teacher called me to inform me that my daughter didn't attend one of her online classes the day before. I was surprised because she wasn't seated that far from me during the lesson, so I assumed she was in class. During the call, I lamented to the teacher how fed up I am with supervising my kids' online learning. I am tired of constantly having to ask them if they are in class and not watching something on YouTube or playing a game. I am tired of reminding them to go back to class for the next lesson. The teacher reminded me that what I am facing is part of the hustles of parenting in the digital age, and that I don't have the luxury to throw in the towel.

My lesson is that I don't have to supervise kids, I get to supervise kids because I am blessed with children and the opportunity to work from home this season. There is a woman somewhere who would give anything to have this this kind of problem but she hasn't been successful in having children. There are also parents who wish their kids had access to online learning to keep them engaged but don't. Others still wish they could work from home during this season in order to supervise their kids' online learning but they are needed at the office. Therefore I change my disposition from "I have to", to "I get to" supervise my kids' online learning.

I don't have to go to work, I get to go work because I am blessed to have a job. I don't have to do difficult projects at work, I get to do difficult projects because I have grown in my career. I don't have to go to the market, I get to go to the market because I am blessed with the resources to stock my fridge and pantry with supplies for my family. I don't have to go to the grocery store for milk and bread every weekend, I get to go to the grocery store because I am blessed with healthy pre-teens who can't get enough of milk and toasted bread. I don't have to call my relatives, I am blessed with family who I get to catch up with every now and then.

So, what are your "get to,s" that you have been wrongly referring to as your "have to's?" It's time to make the switch and remove the sense of obligation and stress from your privileges. It's time to think of why you are grateful every time you get to go to the market, pick up your kids from school (post COVID), take your car to the garage or car wash, clean your house, or organize your laundry. We don't have do to these stuff, we get to do them because we have been blessed with reasons to do them.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 10, Issue 31: Create Margin

Do your days have margin or do you find yourself moving from one activity to another without breathing room to gather your thoughts and enjoy the moments? I have found that if we are not careful, busyness can become a habit, something we do subconsciously.

It is normal for me to pack my schedule with so much that needs to get done that I struggle to get it done within the time I have allocated for the tasks, leave alone have breathing room to pause and enjoy the activities. Seating behind my desk can often feel like I am running from one event to another, maybe even like getting off the car at every stop sign before it has come to a complete halt.

After work, I have a few relaxation activities lined up. But if I run behind schedule with work, which I often do, I end up rushing through my relaxation activities. Sometimes I just want to sit in my balcony and not care what time it is, or how long I have been there, or what I am running late for. How can we slow down to do that?

It's obvious that we cannot wait for the day when there's no work to be done to slow down, because that day will never come. This s because even on my off days, I find myself moving from one activity to another. We need to learn to slow down now in our current lives, with all our responsibilities and obligations. We must determine to create margin for ourselves to truly enjoy our days and live fulfilled lives.

We must learn to not take ourselves seriously. We should take our work and the people in our lives seriously but ease off on ourselves. Let's spread out our work and activities over a longer span on time to have breathing room. Other people do it, so why can't we? We are not more important than them. And who are we trying to impress anyway?

Let your boss know how much you can sanely accomplish in a day. Don't schedule back to back meetings, and back to back tasks on your calendar such that you are always running from one meeting to another, and from one task to another. Sometimes I get to the end of my day almost out of breath because of how tight my schedule is. This is not right, not at all. In fact it's ridiculous! I am ridiculous to operate like this.

This is applicable to any of us irrespective of occupation. I would probably drive myself just as crazy if I were a stay at home mom or a baker. If you are anything like me, we need to seriously rethink our schedules, create margins for ourselves that go beyond the lunch break which we have also crammed with an activity or two. Even if it's just 10 minutes, we should give ourselves permission to breath between activities. Let's create margin for ourselves and enjoy life more.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi