Equipping young women professionals with young families to find fulfillment, contentment and joy as mothers and home makers without losing sight of who they are as women.

Volume 09, Issue 02: Routines, Means to an End

Spontaneous people don't like routines. They are fun and do things on the go and on a whim. They also tend to attend to a mundane task like changing a bulb not necessarily when people want it done but when they get to it, which makes them difficult to be relied upon to get things done. Years ago I felt ashamed to admit that I am a highly routine oriented person. I thought it made me a rather boring person for people to want to be around because what I did, I did everyday. I wanted to be spontaneous.

It's unfortunate that some us who are routine oriented like myself can be boring and rigid. We tend to want to stick to our plans and find it difficult to change gears along the way. This makes us unaccomodating. While trying to be a little bit flexible, I have come to appreciate that even spontaneous people need a bit of routine to show up better.

We are a product of what we do over and over again. Some of us may not admit it, but we all have things that we do routinely. Those are our rituals. Some of us establish routines consciously to reinforce order in our lives. Others of us do some things routinely because we found ourselves doing them.

Having a busy family life and a heavy duty job, my routines are what keep me sane. I stick to my routines day in day out; quiet time, walk, gym, work, home, sleep and repeat.

My morning routines are the power practices I choose to engage in at the start of my day in order to begin my day in a way that brings me the most joy and fulfillment. It's a time that consists of practices that energize and inspire me. I have created a routine that makes sure my mornings are peaceful, nourishing and productive.

The bulk of the day rolls out with routines of its own where I try my best to stay productive. The evening sets in with its set of winding down routines, followed by a bed time that I strictly adhere to except for a few times when I allow other people's evening lives to infiltrate mine.

My first routine is waking up at the same time every morning, irrespective of whether it's a weekend or a public holiday or we are away on vacation. I start with my "Time with Him" activities. I then go for a declaration walk at 6 am for 1 hour, then to the gym for about 45 minutes before proceeding to work or back home if I am on leave. I do this only on weekdays.

My Saturday morning routine after quiet time is one of my favorite times in the week. I get to continue reading, do some writing and reflecting until about 8 am. My Sunday morning routine after quiet time involves some work in the kitchen before proceeding to Church at 8 am.

Early in my marriage I made breakfast for my husband and I every morning. It was the same thing for Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and a different same thing for Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. At first my husband humored me and ate it but eventually he couldn't bear it. It was too monotonous for him. Now everyone in my household fixes their own breakfast, awesome freedom for me, I must add.

I honestly have no problem eating the same breakfast every day. In fact, what I eat, when and the order in which I eat it is part of my routine, which changes every now and then when I discover new things. My current breakfast routine is a vegetable smoothie at 9 am, followed by either a nutty cereal, or a Spanish omelette, or peanut sauce with baked sweet potatoes. Later in the day I take a plate of stir fried mixed vegetables, one of my delicacies.

My next routine after morning work is spending lunch hour reading while having lunch, before continuing with work until 5 pm when I leave to go pick up my children from school.

My 5-6 pm weekdays schedule is listening to podcasts while I drive to school and packed at school, and running through a brief set of declarations as I wait for the children to be ready to go home. 6-7 pm from Monday to Thursday has me doing prepping my next day's smoothie, packing my food bag and gym bag for the next day and taking a shower before cooking dinner and handling laundry on alternate days. 6-7 pm on Fridays is time for a coffee date with my husband, before we pick the next week's milk and bread on the way back home.

My 7-8 pm routine is the same for weekdays and weekends. This is the time I have set aside to relax with family (at this time we are not looking at screens) including family devotion before retiring to my room and calling it a day by 8 pm.

My Saturday morning routine after 8 am is to watch a movie or two, or my favorite house hunting/renovation shows where I enjoy looking at beautiful houses and spectacular house renovations.

I have a date with each of my kids on alternate Saturdays between noon and 2 pm. Today for instance is my day out with my daughter and next Saturday my son and I are going out to a car bazaar to look at cars and grab a snack while at it. He enjoys looking at the latest cars driven by his favorite basket ball and football stars. We won't see any of his favorite cars like a Lamborghini but I bet it will still be fun.

2-5 pm on Saturdays is when we are available to hang out with extended family or friends. We could be going for a function like a birthday party or a wedding, but it's mostly lunch at my sister's place nearby if I am not visiting with a relative or friend somewhere else. If we have nowhere to go, we just lazy around the house doing nothing in particular.

I insist on being home by 6 pm every day. On weekends I run through a brief set of declarations before enjoying the nice evening breeze on my estate's driveway that has lots of overlapping trees on both sides of the road where I stroll back and forth in the cool of the evening. It's so easy to be too busy to enjoy our surroundings, but once you notice the refreshing beauty of nature, you can't stay away. This is one of my treasured privileges.

I am fortunate to work half day on Fridays. I use 1-5 pm to prep meals for the next week, including breakfast items and baking. This is what makes cooking and preparing extras like smoothies during the week easy and quick.

Come Sunday it's my turn with the remote at 11 am when we get back home from Church. I watch my kind of movie, then take a nap before reading a book. 3.30-5.30 pm is family time. This is when we do something together, could be watch TV, play board games or just be in the same space with each of us doing a different thing.

These are my routines, my techniques for managing life in a fast-paced world. I keep a digital calendar that stores all these, and other things I want to be sure to do in a day, week, month and year. I am no longer ashamed to be routine oriented. It's not only how I am wired but also what helps me show up better, do the things I need to do.

Although I know the value of routines, I don't impose my nature on others because we are all wired differently, and as such, we have different techniques for managing our lives. Keep in tune with your techniques and show up better in life this year.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 09, Issue 01: Reflections and Intentions

There's nothing like the quiet time of thinking, pondering and reflecting over how it's been. Most of us spend part of the month of December and the beginning of January reflecting over the past year and pondering over how we can do better in the coming year, what we can do differently, how we can show up better in life.

We review the past year and ponder over and note things like;

⁃ What we are most grateful for from the past year

⁃ How we feel about the past year in overall

⁃ The positive changes we saw in ourselves the past year, how we have grown as individuals and the things we now do better than we did before.

⁃ The lessons we learnt in the past year. One of the things I learnt is that it's okay to say "This is not working for me" and change course.

⁃ Our major accomplishments in the past year. One of my major accomplishments was settling the matter on my bed time, eating hours, waking up early and daily quiet time.

⁃ The goals we wanted to achieve but didn't go as planned. One of the things I flopped in is showing up on time for things on my radar.

⁃ Whether we still feel passionate about those goals and what we can do differently in the new year to accomplish them.

⁃ What is holding us back from the life we envision - whether it's time management, self-doubt, procrastination, perfectionism or laziness.

We also ponder over the things we did in the past year that we want to continue doing. We consider the things that didn't do us justice that we want to stop doing. We think of the things we want to start doing in the new year to take us further than we have come thus far in our journey.

I thought of relatives I didn't visit or call enough and scheduled trips and phone calls to make on my calendar in the new year. I reworked the allowance system for my kids so that they no longer earn a free allowance but earn it by fulfilling certain obligations. I created a digital calendar blocking system for myself with alerts and reminders to help me show up better. I thought of the important things we didn't get to do or did poorly as a family and put them on the calendar to make sure we do them in the new year.

This is also the time we think about our intentions for the new year and get inspiration for what we want to focus on in the new year. We pick our theme or word for the year that will revolutionize our every day life in the year. We lay out the things we want to be intentional about in the new year. A one word theme does a better job than new year resolutions. It narrows our focus and brings clarity and simplicity into our lives. I will share my learnings on one word theme in a future post.

We then choose a few goal categories that we want to focus on in the year. The categories may range from health, mind, career, personal development, financial, creativity, relationships, organization, spiritual, skill building, etc. After we select somewhere between 3 and 8 goal categories, or more depending on our level of ambition, we brainstorm the goals we want to pursue for each.

We then refine our brainstormed goals into smart goals. Smart goals are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time bound. Here, we state exactly what needs to be done for each goal. We state how each goal will be measured to track progress. We ensure to set goals that are attainable - not too challenging or overwhelming. We state the relevance of each goal in the vision we have for our lives so we don't end up with goals that don't align with what we want to do in life. And finally, we state exactly when each goal needs to be met by. We set the target date or state the time in which we do the goal (daily, weekly, monthly, etc).

We then proceed to create simple action plans and steps, and lay out the tools and support we will need to make it happen for each goal. We then create tasks from the action plans, and put the tasks on our daily/weekly/monthly planner. After this we are good to go. It's action time. We set the ball in motion, do our best, review our goals monthly and celebrate wins, and get back on track when we fall behind.

Let's have an amazing year.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 08, Issue 19: Time With Him

What do you do with your time in God's presence? Is it a daily habit or something you do whenever you can get to it? It comes down to whether or not you are in on the secret of the power of that time. This article is about the time we dedicate to spend with God, but that's not to say it's the only time we engage with God in a day. But it does set in motion our engagement with Him throughout the day.

When we tell new believers to spend time with God, they are usually left wondering what to do. We then tell them to pray and read the Bible. So they try that but get stranded after some time. They may show up for prayer and be done with all they have to say in less than 3 minutes. This makes it a boring exercise or make them feel inadequate that some end up giving up on it all together.

Learning that our time with God is fluid frees us to enjoy that time. It becomes the highlight of our day and sets in motion our engagement with Him for the rest of the day. I think time with God is connecting with God in a way that honors Him and aligns with your unique personality. In my last article I promised to write what I do with my time in God's presence. Here are my 5 things that I do with that time;

1. I have a conversation with God. This is the best part. As an introvert, I keep to myself, don't talk much with people, but at this time I have plenty to say. I tell God what's on my heart and mind. Most times, it's just talk, I tell Him what I want to do that day, ask him to help me with those things. I present to Him the things that I need Him to guide me on, to tell me what to do. I tell Him the things that are making my heart glad at that moment and pour out my thanksgivings. I also mention people or things to Him that need His intervention. I also ask Him to pardon my messes. Sometimes this conversation is all about pouring out my heart to Him, rending my heart over something that has either saddened me or brought me great joy. At this time I generally do most of the talking, but when am still enough I hear what He has to say. It's never an audible voice but you know when He has spoken.

2.  I write morning pages. This is where I write down whatever is on my heart. Most times its a stream of thanksgivings on a thing or multiple things. Other times its a prayer request. I write down my prayer requests because I enjoy when I come back to write, "Lord you did it again! You came through for me, just like you always do". I like to keep these things on record to remind me of the Lord's wonders. I call the journals where I write these on "my walls of remembrance." Other times it's things that are at the fore of my heart at that moment, and all these remain private in my journals.

3. I read the Bible. It's more like study the Bible because I read and listen to portions of scripture and write down on my Bible study note book what has impressed my heart, what has stood out for me in the reading. Sometimes it translates into a praise session of expressing my awe of the Lord. Many revelations are birthed from these moments which I record and sometimes post on my website to share with those who would be interested. At this time I also do a daily devotional, sometimes two. They are called "Bible plans" in the YouVersion Bible App. Here I also write down or copy to my digital notes what I want to ponder over some more or make an article out of to share with people on my website. The plans vary from anywhere between 3 and 30 days. They are designed to help you explore biblical truth, reflect on it, and apply it to your life. Sometimes once I am done with a plan, I repeat it twice or thrice if I want the message to sink, to become my own.

4. I make declarations. This is where I command blessings into my day, call things that are not as though they are. I take a moment to speak life and pronounce blessings over my family and situations. I have these written down, so I read through, declaring out loud. I also have the same and much more voice recorded on my iPod, which I use when I go out for my morning walk.

5. I read a book or an article, or watch or listen to a teaching on DVD, or a video on YouTube. This is where I read or listen to something that will benefit my mind and future. I enjoy this a lot and carry it on into my day and evening every chance I get. Reading is a natural pass time for me. I am almost always happy to be alone to read or listen to something to learn new things and develop my mind.

That's my list. None of these things are magical but they are the things I choose to do at the start of my day, in order to begin my day in a way that brings me the most joy and fulfillment. It's my time, my quiet time. A time that consists of practices that energize and inspire me. I have created a routine that ensures my mornings are peaceful, nourishing and productive. I will post an article on my morning and evening routines at a later point.

So, what are yours? What are the things you do with your time with God?

I want to conclude with the words of Francis Frangipane of Charisma House. Redeem the Time. Those who would find God find time. Every minute you seek God is a minute enriched with new life and new power from God. Give yourself a minimum amount of time—an hour or two each day—but do not set a limit, as the Lord may draw you to seek Him on into the day or night. And continue day by day, and week by week, until you have drawn near enough to God that you can hear His voice, becoming confident that He is close enough to you to hear your whisper. God has given everyone enough time to seek Him. It is there.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 08, Issue 18: Changing My Approach

It's amazing what time with God does for us. Being quiet, reflecting in his presence, solutions and ideas start streaming in.

Lately, I have found my work overwhelming, demanding, just too much to do. My approach to tackle the load was to try to get it all done, stretching myself as much as possible.

That wasn't a good approach because it left me drained, constantly feeling mentally fatigued even with enough sleep. I felt lazy to do the personal things that usually bring a sense of refreshment and renewal to me.

I have figured out that for me, just because the work load is huge doesn't mean I need to work longer, chipping away at it every waking moment I have. It may seem like the right thing to do but it's not sustainable, at least not for me.

By working longer, I was pulling away from the one thing that gives me power and strength - proximity to Christ. Because after all that work, I felt too tired to wake up early to spend time in his presence. I still woke up, but not as early, so I did the bare minimum with that time.

Some people need just a few minutes with God. I need I little bit more time to get full. In my next post I will write what I do with that time.

Just because the work is a lot doesn't mean I should consistently work longer hours. It means I need to lean in more, surrender more, depend more and let God do what he sees needs doing. Time with God is the easiest item to drop off the list in busy times. I heard a story about John Wesley. He had an assistant who did his schedule. One evening his assistant asked him, "tomorrow you got all these to do. How are you going to get it all done?" John Wesley responded, "I am going to get up an hour earlier and spend that extra hour with God." That response says it all. If we want to succeed in our busy schedules, we cant afford to eliminate time with God.

So, I have gone back to the basics. I write down my goals for the day, jot down my professional and personal tasks, assigning time for specific tasks, meetings, distractions and emails for work, and separate time slots for personal goals.

I have always scheduled my meetings in the afternoon. I find holding meetings in the morning distractive of my day and a waste of my most productive time. What I am changing is how I deal with other people's requests for meetings that require my participation. Most people schedule for morning meetings. I am responding to these requests by proposing an alternative time in the afternoon.

With regards to distractions, one of my challenges has been dealing with multiple requests for information and advice from colleagues. My new approach now is that if someone walks in or calls without a prior appointment, I will request them to allow me to get back to listen to them at a later time, which would be the time I have assigned for distractions.

The other productivity thief I am addressing is emails, restricting the time I check emails. I won't let other people's agenda dictate how I spend my day at work. I will therefore not start my day attending to emails, but rather schedule a time for emails at a later point in the day so that I use my most productive hours attending to specific tasks on my calendar.

If I can't start my day on my own terms, I am not going to get anywhere in the long term. When it's time for emails, I will conclusively respond to quick ones, and pull out tasks from the rest and schedule when I would work on them. So, I won't attend to them right away but acknowledge receipt and advise the senders that I would get back to them at a later point. This way I can give my undivided attention to achieving my goals. Thereafter, 5 o'clock would find me in my car, driving off, without my laptop.

That's my God-inspired approach. Now I can go back to doing life on my own terms, enjoying my work while maximizing my productivity, enjoying my family, having time for rest, and feeling energized for my evening and morning routines. Having already started this, I know I will recover. I will feel refreshed. I will feel excited again. I will enjoy my life. I will have work-life/ work-rest balance.

If you have been struggling like me, give yourself permission to end the struggle in the way that speaks to your heart and situation. Lean in more, surrender more, then take action when God tells you what to do. Free yourself to live your life by God's design for work and rest.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 08, Issue 17: Even in Little Things

Yesterday afternoon I was once again reminded that God is always taking care of us, even in little things. I was out of town and I wanted to have the safe in my hotel room opened. A few days earlier I had been given access to the safe, I opened it, put my valuables in it and locked it with my secret code. Coming back to my room that evening I put my secret code but the lock didn't open. I contacted the reception but the manager had left for the day and they promised he would assist me the next day. I had a busy day thereafter, so I didn't follow up until yesterday when I had a free afternoon.

Knowing that I was to leave for the airport by nine o'clock the next morning, I wanted to take care of the safe business before it turned into a personal crisis. So, armed with this clear objective, I set out for the main reception to make my request. But God put distractions in my way that left me going to the side reception instead. The receptionist understood my request and the urgency there on, and promised to take care of it. And he did! You know how important that is if you have had experience with crappy service.

From the reception, I didn't want to go to my room right away. I felt like relaxing on one of the comfortable lounges nearby while watching personal development videos on my phone. The lounge area is a different direction from the reception, so the receptionist wouldn't have known where I was. He must have assumed I went to my room to wait for the service I requested.

Since I didn't want the general manager to go to my room and not find me, I asked God to help me not miss the manager if he comes by while I am still on the lounge. I lay down facing the path I thought he would use to make sure I don't miss him. The only problem was that I didn't know how the manager looked like, and whether he would be wearing hotel uniform or civilian attire.

Guess what happened, knowing my deficiencies, God arranged for the manager not to miss me! I was concerned about me missing the manager, but God arranged for the manager not to miss me. Instead of using the path I thought he would use, the manager walked by the lounge area, stopped by my lounge bed and asked if I was the one needing assistance with opening my safe. How amazing is that! Those lounges are for relaxation for all guests, and not for guests waiting for something.

You could be thinking there's nothing special about that. I disagree. The manager could have gone straight to my room, bounced me and gone back to his business. And being a Friday afternoon, he could have clocked off early and maybe was going to be unavailable the next morning. Who knows what could have happened?

God honored my simple casual request to guarantee I get the service I needed, when I needed it, to preserve my peace of mind for the rest of my stay at the hotel. I believe that none of those happenings were coincidental. The Bible says that the steps of the righteous are ordered of the Lord. We are righteous not because we don't do anything wrong, we are righteous because of Christ's righteousness. That was God taking care of me.

Don't miss your moments. God is always taking care of us, even in little things. These are the things that build our faith to trust him for the big things. They remind us that we are still in God's corner, precious in his eyes. They remind us that we are forgiven and accepted. They remind us that we are loved and cared for, that we are not doing life alone. That he is right there with us, doing what he sees needs doing. I don't know about you, but knowing that God cares about my little things wows my heart big time.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi