Equipping young women professionals with young families to find fulfillment, contentment and joy as mothers and home makers without losing sight of who they are as women.

Volume 06, Issue 17: What Drives Your Life?

Everyone is driven by something. Take a moment to consider the driving force in your life. This would help you get started in straightening things out sooner rather than later should you need to.

What is the driving force in your life?

Materialism

Many people are driven by materialism. Their desire to acquire becomes the whole goal of their lives. This drive to always want more is based on the misconception that having more will make them happier, more important, and more secure. Only, they never get satisfied because possessions only provide temporary happiness. Self–worth and net–worth are not the same. Your value is not determined by your valuables, and God says the most valuable things in life are not things!

Fame

Some people are driven by fame. Their need for notoriety, being noticed and applauded, and their success being talked about is stronger that their commitment to keep doing what got them in the spot light in the first place.

Approval

Some people are driven by the need for approval. They allow the expectations of parents or spouses or children or teachers or friends to control their lives. Others are driven by peer pressure, always worried by what others might think.

Guilt

Many people are driven by guilt. They allow their past to control their future. Each of us is a product of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it. God specializes in giving people a fresh start.

Resentment and anger

Many people are driven by resentment and anger. They hold on to hurts and never get over them. Resentment always hurts you more than it does the person you resent. Your past is past! Nothing will change it. For your own sake, learn from it, and then let it go.

Fear

Some people are driven by the fear of what might happen. Regardless of the cause of the fear, fear–driven people often miss great opportunities because they are afraid to venture out. Instead they play it safe, avoiding risks and trying to maintain the status quo.

Pleasure

Some people are driven by pleasure. They surrender themselves to a life of endless partying, revelry and other forms of personal gratification.

Success

Some people are driven by the need to become a raving success. They will stop at nothing in their pursuit for success. In the process, they neglect other areas of their lives such are physical health, spiritual well-being, close relationships, friendships. Many families are sacrificed at the altar of personal success.

Purpose

When living for God’s pleasure is the driving force of your life, you do not know how you could enjoy anything without God; not wealth, not success, not family, not fame, not anything; apart from his presence. It is at this point that all your success and relationships have meaning. You know deep down that your success means nothing without him. You are enjoying life not because of your wealth or your job or your family or notoriety, but because God is at the center of it all.

When God is the driving force of your life, you surrender your fears to him; you let him deal with your past, and heal your hurts; he becomes your success, the reason for your success, your motivation to do it well; you know he loves you, so his approval is all you need; and you find pleasure in him.

I am persuaded to believe that nothing matters more than having God’s at the center of your life, and nothing can compensate for not having him at the center – not success, not wealth, not fame, not family and friends, not pleasure. Without God, life is motion without meaning, activity without direction, and events without reason. Without God, life is empty, trivial, petty and pointless.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 06, Issue 16: Take a Stand

What do you do when a family member or friend is acting out of character? Most of us just let it slide, look the other way. It is common that a dear one could be messing up big time, hurting self or others, and we act so above it all that it doesn’t even faze us.

Bad conduct should be confronted and dealt with. We must not simply look the other way and hope it goes away on its own. Bring it out in the open and deal with it in the authority of God’s Word.

If a loved one is engaging in promiscuity, substance abuse, or getting deeper into an immoral addiction, we shouldn’t just put up with it, or ignore it; not just as an erred spouse but also as friends and relatives.

We shouldn’t make ourselves at home with those behaving badly. We shouldn’t act as if everything is just fine when a friend or family member is persisting in an out of line behaviour. We can’t just go along with it, treating it as acceptable behaviour. Call it what it is and deal with it.

It’s cowardice to look the other way when a family member or friend is living in sin, hurting self or others. We must be honest with ourselves and with them and take a stand, speak up. Confront them in love. It might just be the wake-up call they need to shape up.

We have some responsibility for those within our community of believers, family and close friends. We need to decide when our brothers and sisters are out of line, and, if necessary, clean house.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 06, Issue 15: The Pursuit of Wholeness

Singlehood is a pursuit of completeness. Yet many go through the phase of singlehood unhappy, desperately waiting to get married. The assumption for those with this mindset is that they are incomplete, and a spouse would complete them, make them happy.

As a result, many people get into marriage expecting to be completed. The reality is no human being has the capacity to complete another human being. Your spouse may try their best to make you happy, but he/she would die trying to fill up the holes in you.

The biblical equation of marriage is a celebration of wholeness. It’s one whole person coming together with another whole person. That’s it. If you are half, and marry a whole person, you still couldn’t become whole merely as a result of the union.

Half times half equals a quarter. Even if you are whole but marry someone who is half, you end up with a half. Marriage isn’t about two half people coming together to become one. It is when one whole person comes in union with another whole person that makes one.

Marriage doesn’t make you whole. Only a journey with God makes you whole. If you are looking for the rest of you in someone else, you are setting yourself and your relationship up for failure. God expects us to get into marriage complete. If we ended up there incomplete, it’s upon us to pursue personal wholeness and offer our spouse a whole person.

Marriage doesn’t make you whole; it simply reveals the holes in you. Are you whole or are you in a hole? You are in a hole if you expect your spouse to complete you. God’s desire for us is that we become whole, whether single or married.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 06, Issue 14: Radical Love

Looking at the history of the children of Israel today left me amazed once again by God’s love. God doesn’t exist in time. He sees all that will happen before it happens. He knew the children of Israel were going to rebel and reject him even as he made the first step to rescue them from Egypt. He chose to love them and rescue them even knowing that they would turn away from him.

After leaving Egypt, the children of Israel took God’s wonders for granted, forgot his great and wonderful love. They were barely beyond the Red Sea when they defiled the Most High God. At the very place he saved them, the place he revealed his amazing power.

He rebuked the Red Sea so that it dried up on the spot and paraded them right though, no one so much as got wet feet. He saved them from a life of oppression, pried them loose from the grip of their enemy. Then the waters flowed back on their oppressors; there wasn’t a single survivor. At this, they believed his words were true and broke out in songs of praise.

But it wasn’t long before they forgot the whole thing, wouldn’t wait to be told what to do. They only cared about pleasing themselves in that desert, provoked God with their insistent demands. He gave them exactly what they asked for – but along with it they got an empty heart.

They cast in metal a bull calf at Horeb and worshiped the statute they had made. They traded the Glory for a cheap piece of sculpture; a grass-chewing bull! They forgot God, their very own Saviour, who turned things around for them in Egypt, who created a world of wonders and gave that stunning performance at the Red Sea.

Fed up, God decided to get rid of them – except for Moses, his chosen one. But Moses stood in the gap and deflected God’s anger, preventing it from destroying them utterly.

They went on to reject the blessed land, didn’t believe a word of what God promised. They found fault with the life they had and turned a deaf ear to God’s voice. Exasperated, God swore that he’d lay them low in the dessert.

Then they linked up with Baal Peor, attending funeral banquets and eating idol food. That made God so angry that a plaque spread among their ranks; Phinehas stood up and pled their case and the plaque was stopped.

They angered God again at Meribah Springs; this time Moses got mixed up in their evil; Because they defiled God yet again, Moses exploded and lost his temper.

To top it all, they didn’t wipe out those godless cultures as ordered by God. Instead they intermarried with the heathen, and in time became just like them. They worshiped their idols, were caught in the trap of idols.

They sacrificed their sons and daughters at the altars of demon gods. They slit the throats of their babies, murdered their infant girls and boys. They offered their babies to Canaan’s gods; the blood of their babies stained the land. Their way of life stank to high heaven.

And God was furious – a wildfire anger; he couldn’t stand even to look at his people. He turned them over to the heathen so that the people who hated them ruled them. Their enemies made life hard for them; they were tyrannized under that rule. Over and over God rescued them, but they never learned, until finally their sins destroyed them.

Still, when God saw the trouble they were in and heard their cries for help, he remembered his covenant with them, and, immense with love, took them by the hand. He poured out his mercy on them while their captors looked on, amazed.

What radical love! And in the same breadth God chose to have the penalty for our rebellion paid. God is not confined to time. He saw each day of our lives before we were born. Jesus chose to travail on the cross for us, knowing that just like the children of Israel, there would be days when we would reject him. He could have walked away from the cross, but he chose to go all the way, even seeing the days when we would trash his sacrifice.

God pursues us, with power and glory, unstoppable love that never ends. He is unrelenting with passion and mercy for us. God's love never fails, his love never runs out.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 06, Issue 13: The Purpose of Life

Each of our lives is a pentathlon of five purposes, which we should strive to keep in balance. These are the five key things which summarize why we are here, what life is all about.

1.    Worship

What is the center of your life? Who are you living for? What are you building your life around? You can center your life around career, family, a sport or hobby, money, having fun, or many other activities. These are all good things, but they don’t belong at the center of your life. None is strong enough to hold you together when life starts breaking apart. You need an unshakable center. When God is at the center, you worship. Is living for God’s glory the supreme goal of your life?

We were planned for God’s pleasure, so our purpose is to love God through worship. Worship is our first responsibility to God. Worship is a lifestyle of enjoying God, loving him, and giving ourselves to be used for his purposes.

God did not need to create us, but he chose to create us for his own enjoyment. We exist for his benefit, his glory, his purpose, and his delight. Bringing glory to God, living for his pleasure, is the first purpose of your life.

What is worship? It is far more than singing in Church or praying. Worship is far more than music. Worship is a lifestyle. Real worship is all about falling in love with Jesus.

2.    Fellowship

What is the community of your life? Every human being was created by God, but not everyone is a child of God. The only way to get into God’s family is by being born again into it. The invitation to be part of God’s family is universal, but there is one condition: faith in Jesus.

When we place our faith in Jesus, God becomes our Father, and we become his children, other believers become our brothers and sisters, and the church becomes our spiritual family.

Following Jesus is not just a matter of believing; it also includes belonging and learning to love the family of God. We were formed for God’s family, so our second purpose is to share God’s message through fellowship.

3.    Discipleship

What is the character of your life? What kind of person are you becoming? God is far more interested in what we are than what we do. We were created to become like Christ, so our third purpose is to grow to maturity through discipleship. Spiritual maturity is becoming like Jesus in the way we think, feel, and act.

God’s ultimate goal for our lives on earth is character development. He wants us to grow up spiritually and become like Christ. Becoming like Christ does not mean losing your personality or becoming a mindless clone. God created your uniqueness, so he certainly doesn’t want to destroy it. Christlikeness is all about transforming your character, not your personality.

4.    Service

What is the contribution of your life? What is your ministry to the Body of Christ? Knowing your combination of spiritual gifts, passion, abilities, personality, and experiences, what is your best role in the family of God? While you are shaped to serve others, even Jesus didn’t meet the needs of everyone while here on earth. You have to choose whom you can best help. Each of us bears different fruit.

We were shaped for serving, so our purpose is to show love for others through ministry. Each of us was uniquely designed by God with talents, gifts, skills, and abilities. They were given to benefit others.

You were put on earth to make a contribution. You weren’t created just to consume resources – to eat, breath, and take up space. God designed you to make a difference with your life. You were created to add to life on earth, not just take from it. God wants you to give something back. This is God’s fourth purpose for your life, and it is your ministry, your service.

5.    Mission

What is the communication of your life? We were made for a mission, so our purpose is to share God’s message to unbelievers through evangelism. God doesn’t want his love and purposes kept a secret. Once we know the truth, he expects us to share it with others.

Being a Christian includes being sent into the world as a representative of Jesus Christ. The mission is introducing people to God. Fulfilling your mission in the world is God’s fifth purpose for your life.

We have the greatest news in the world, and sharing it is the greatest kindness we can show to anyone. We must remember that no matter how contented or successful people appear to be, without Christ they are hopelessly lost and headed for eternal separation from God. Everybody needs Jesus.

We need to get started on our mission of reaching out to others with the message of God's love. This does not mean you should quit your job to become a full-time evangelist. God wants us to share the Good News where we are. As a worker, a student, a parent, a teacher, a manager; whatever you do, you should continually look for people God places in your path with whom you can share the gospel.

David served God’s purposes in his generation. No wonder God called David “a man after my own heart.” David dedicated his life to fulfilling God’s purposes on earth. Like Esther, God created each of us “for such a time as this.” Will you serve God’s purpose in your generation? One day history will come to a close, but eternity will go on forever. Let’s prepare for it by serving God’s purposes in our generation.

Lillian Chebosi