Equipping young women professionals with young families to find fulfillment, contentment and joy as mothers and home makers without losing sight of who they are as women.

Volume 05, Issue 05: Time: The One Thing Needful

Everything in life teaches us that we cannot cheat time. Be it career, or schooling or vocation or relationships. We reap what we sow.  It is no different when it comes to raising children.

We all want good children, but good children don’t just happen, good children are raised. What does time mean when it comes to raising children? It means being available to instruct, to train, to discipline, to manage and to draw near to our children. We cannot do any of these things by remote control, we have to be available.

Children interpret intimacy with time. As parents, we do a lot for our children, but the one thing needful is time – being there. We cannot substitute time with anything else. We cannot substitute presence with presents.

Let’s do a little exercise. Calculate the number of hours a week you spend with your children. How many hours a month does that translate to? And how many days a month, how many days a year? Do the math.

Time does not lie. It is not about the activities you are doing, it is about being there. Although children don’t know anything about quality time, they just want time with us; sometimes we have a lot of quantity time, but we need to go for quality time too.

Why is time the one thing needful? What is it about time that makes it the one thing needful? If children see you around, and know you are here to stay, it eliminates inhibitions. You won’t be a stranger to them.

Time says I know you are here now, and you will be here tomorrow, so you will be here to follow it up. Time says you belong here, therefore what I commit to you will be retained here. Time with our children means that we will walk with them, carry their burdens.

Your children want to become like you and beyond. Sometimes they know you have made mistakes, but because you are here, you are their hero. Our children are not looking for the perfect us, they are looking for the present us.

Time is so important such that if you bring in a relative to your home and he or she is more available, your children’s loyalty shifts to him or her. A majority of child abusers are people who are always present.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 05, Issue 04: It is Well

Inspired by the story of the Shunammite Woman (2 Kings 4:8-37)

The Shunammite woman was blessed with the son she secretly desired but did not ask for. Because of her unreserved hospitality to the man of God, Elisha sought to seek God to bless her with a son.

Awhile later, the gift that she was given, the child who was her greatest joy caused her to experience her greatest pain. The child died.

The Shunammite woman did not waste time grieving, asking “why me?” She did not broadcast her woe to her friends and relatives, or transfer her pain to her husband. Instead, she quietly resolved to pursue a solution. She went in search of the one who had blessed her, to see if he could bless her again.

The Shunammite woman did not tell her husband that the child had died. Having decided not to burden him with her grief, she responded to his questions with a simple “It’s all right”. Although the greatest love of her life was gone, she chose to believe that it would be well. She never lost faith in the face of what seemed to be a hopeless situation and learned an incredible lesson about restoration.

On the way she meets Elisha’s aide who asks her if everything is alright with her and her family. Her response is resounding. She says “All is well.”

Most of us are quick to broadcast our troubles to people who do not have the power to help us. We unashamedly air our dirty laundry to anyone who would listen. We are too quick to bring others in when something upsetting happens, thus spreading negative energy and getting everyone excited prematurely.

Share your hurt only with those with the wisdom and power to help you find a remedy. Keep quiet for just a moment before letting in the noise of others. It is in the stillness that you will hear the voice of wisdom on the course to take.

Like the Shunammite woman, don’t be in a hurry to accept your misfortune. Seek a solution first. If all attempts fail, resign yourself to your loss and weather it by continuing your life gracefully.

Don’t tell those who cannot handle the news. They will convince you out of your faith for a reversal of the situation. They will tell you to accept your loss and move on when you can have a chance at a different outcome.

Can you come out and say “It is well,” even when hell is breaking loose in your life? Can God trust you with ground shaking trials to be a testimony of His greatness, or would you rather give in to your loss easily? When the doctors diagnose you with a life threatening disease, do you give up the fight to restore your health? Can you dare say “It is well” when you lose your job? Do you throw in the towel at the onset of the slightest storm in your marriage? Learn to say “It is well.” Refuse to accept the bad and resolve to find a solution.

We are not ordinary people. Our advocate is a mender of things. God is in the business of turning ashes into beauty. He can bring good out of the worst of situations. If only you would take to Him the bad and ask Him to fix it, rather than give up the fight to bring your blessing back to life.

Being able to look good on paper despite what is going on beneath the surface is a divine quality. Never let others see you sweat. Have immovable faith no matter what is happening around you. Don’t waste time complaining and having a pity party. Focus on the solution and pursue it.

Do not be bowed by your pain. Rather, learn to transfer your pain into a positive thing. Master the art of living over your circumstances. Determine not to give in easily to crisis. Don’t allow it to change your demeanor. Understand that disappointments and setbacks are inevitable, but misery is optional. Without losing your composure, have the courage to face your pain and believe in an answer.

We get what we expect. Walk in constant expectancy of blessings - of your heart’s desires being met by believing that God wants to bless you. Those who know who they are and who they serve are able to walk in the expectation of their desires being fulfilled. In spite of loss or disappointment, know your true worth in God’s sight and do not shy from seeking it.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 05, Issue 03: When God Seems Distant

It is easy to walk with God when things are rosy in your life – when he has provided finances, family and friends, good health and happy situations. But circumstances of life are not always pleasant. How do you praise God then? What do you do when God seems a million miles away?

How do you praise God in spite of lack, pain, and hurt? How do you thank God during a trial, love him when he seems distant, unmoved by your misery?

Besides Jesus, David must have had the closest friendship with God than anyone else. God delighted to call him a man after His own heart! Yet we read of how David frequently complained of God’s apparent absence during the testings of his life. Will you continue to love, trust, obey and worship God even when you have no sense of his presence, when you feel abandoned by him?

The situations that will stretch your faith most will be those times when life falls apart and God is nowhere to be found. I believe none of us has experienced this to the level that Job did. On a single day he lost everything. As if that wasn’t discouraging enough , for 37 chapters, God said nothing!

How do you praise God when you don’t understand what’s happening in your life and God is silent? How do you keep your eyes on Jesus when they are full of tears?

Pour out your heart to God. Tell Him exactly how you feel, unload your emotions to Him. Cry out when God seems distant.

Focus on God’s unchanging character. Follow what Raymond Edman said, “Never doubt in the dark what God told you in the light.” When Job’s life fell apart, and God was silent, Job still found things he could praise God for.

Trust God to keep his promises. Patiently rely on the promises of God, not your emotions. In the absence of confirming circumstances, Job held on to God’s word. His faith was strong in the midst of pain. He said, “God may kill me, but still I will trust him.”

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 05, Issue 02: Connect with your Passion

Today I got to do something I love to do. I facilitated a crash program of parenting course that took about 6 hours to complete. I was still full of energy and zest at the end of the last session. I could go on and on. It was an amazing time.

As a parenting coach, I get to facilitate a parenting class almost every other week but every time I do, it feels so great. This is one of the few things that when I do I want the day to last longer.

Connect with your passion. There are specific things that each of us was created to do. We are wired to love certain things. But how many people get to do what they love? We stay in occupations we don’t feel anything for. Sometimes a whole year can pass before we get an opportunity to get our juices flowing, to do what we really love. That’s not the way to live.

What is the one thing that you can do even if you were not paid for it? What is the one thing you lose sense of time doing, become wholly absorbed in? What is the one thing that gets your juices flowing? What gives you fulfillment?

If you had all the money in the world, and had all the time and all other resources, what is the one thing that you would do? Figure out what you are passionate about and learn to do it so well, that people will offer to pay you for it.

It is worth finding out what your passions are, because when you do, and begin to get opportunities to do them, that’s when you begin living. Choose to live a fulfilling life, a life you love and feel great about.

Pursue the positive desires of your heart. Passion excites and drives us. Purpose in life is about unveiling what we passionately love. When you are doing what you love to do, no one, and no form of reward or applause has to motivate you to do it. You do it out of sheer enjoyment.

What makes you come alive? What are you most passionate about? Figure out what you love do, what God gave you a passion for. Serve in ways that best expresses your heart.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 05, Issue 01: Setting up for Success

We are still in January and some of us are still in the process of fleshing out our goals for the New Year. I usually prefer to carry out this exercise of reflecting on the past year and thinking about what I want to see happen in my life in the coming year. This time around I have found myself putting in the bits and pieces a couple of days and weeks into the New Year and I am not done yet. I am sure there are a few others like me this year, and so I believe it’s not too late to publish this article to help nudge us on.

Starting a new season without a thought out sense of direction is doing your life a dis-service. You want to reflect over how the past season was for you, and strategize for the new season. The beginning of a new year is always exciting because it gives each of us a chance to get it right, again. It gives us an opportunity to put behind us the failures and frustrations of the past year and behold a new beginning with countless opportunities for success.

If you don’t know where you want to go, how will you know when you get there? And how will you know if you getting off-track? We want our lives to count for something. We were made for greatness and we need to know how we are doing on our journey to greatness. We need to set up for success in 2015.

I am a neat freak. I clean and organize all the time. I am also detail freak. I plan for and write down every detail of what I want to achieve and how I am going to do it. Whenever I feel I am over doing it, I remind myself that God is also into details. God expects us to put down our plans and dreams. I think when God gave Moses the task of the items that needed to be made for the tabernacle, it was all about details. The Bible lists varied types of materials and measurements for various things (how many cubic feet high, how many cubic feet long, how many cubic feet wide, and so on). Moses or his assistant must have written them down, taking copious notes, careful not to miss the details. Clearly God is into details big time. Why does he care how long the curtain is for instance?

There are many examples in the Bible that shows that God is into details. Like the instructions for the first temple that he gave David that his son Solomon constructed. We are made after God's image; we are at our best when we are like him. So let's embrace the details. Write down our plans, our dreams, what we want to see happening in our lives in 2015; and the details of how we will get there. When are finished writing, let’s go to work in doing all it takes to achieve our dreams.

Where do we start? If you haven’t done so already, take some time to reflect on the past year. 2015 can’t start from nowhere. Start with where you are coming from. Write down your highlights for 2014. While you are at it, make your gratitude list for 2014 and spend time before the Lord giving thanks. Without Him these are just plans, ink on paper. He is the one who gives us the power to do anything. He keeps us in health physically and emotionally for us to be able to do the work it takes to achieve our dreams. We have nothing to show for our lives without the goodness of God.

List your challenges for 2014, the obstacles you encountered in trying to get it right; and reflect on the strategies you will employ to overcome them in the New Year.

Next, put down your areas of focus for 2015. These are what we popularly refer to as New Year resolutions. These are your goals. Take it a notch higher this time. Classify your goals, all about details here. Make your life’s list if you haven’t already. This comprises of your long term goals and the goals you want to achieve now in 2015. List your career and business goals, your financial goals; your health and fitness goals, your fun and recreation goals, your relationship goals, your personal goals, your contribution/legacy goals, goals for your spouse, and goals for your children.

Finally, wrap up by documenting your theme for 2015. This is basically a sentence that summarizes your goals for year, what you want your life to be all about in 2015. Happy planning.

Lillian Chebosi