Equipping young women professionals with young families to find fulfillment, contentment and joy as mothers and home makers without losing sight of who they are as women.

Volume 13, Issue 22: Larger Than The Situation

Not so long ago, I made a mess of things with someone. I didn't consider my actions improper at the time and even after being confronted by the person offended, so it took me a moment to apologize.

I admitted to myself that it didn't matter whether or not the confrontation was justified. The person was offended and I owed them an apology. My sincere apology got them off my back, but it took me a moment to get past the occurrence. It took a lot of empowering self talk to get my emotions back on track.

The point I want to make from that occurrence is that the confrontation rattled me. Part of the confrontation was sent in a voice message, and I dreaded listening to it. Needless to say, as much as I tried to put up a brave front and persist in my justification for my actions, the whole thing stressed me up.

My take away from that experience was the importance of being larger than a situation. It matters not whether the chaos happening are brought about by my own improper actions or they are brought about by someone's improper actions on me, or whether life is happening to me. The skill of being larger than the situation is extremely valuable at such times.

Had I mastered or remembered to employ this skill at the time, I wouldn't have been so miserable. I would have managed to not let my emotions get the best of me. Yes, I had made a mess that I needed to clean up by owning up and apologizing. But there was no need to let the chaos in. My actions and the confrontation were external occurrences. But I allowed them to rearrange me internally. I couldn't agree more with how James Clear put it in one of of his posts last August.

"A valuable skill in life is to be larger than the situation. When you're feeling stressed or rattled, the situation is consuming you. It feels bigger and more important than it needs to be. This is when your emotions are likely to get the best of you.

But when you are larger than the situation, you can mentally "step outside and above it." Yes, there are problems to be solved. Yes, you need to take action. But the chaos is happening externally, and you are still in the driver's seat internally. You're in control of the moment, the moment is not in control of you."

When you make a mess of things, or when someone's actions offend you, or when life happens to you, be quick to remind yourself that you are still in the driver's seat internally. Endeavor to maintain control of the moment, even as you take the necessary actions to address the situation.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 13, Issue 21: Maximize Your "A's"

What are your "A" tasks at work? There's no denying that there are aspects of our work that we feel drained by and dread doing, there are tasks that we are average at, and there are tasks that we ace and enjoy doing. The latter are tasks that we are great at and whose execution come naturally to us. They are the tasks you come alive doing. They excite and energize you, and you excel at them.

Maximizing your "A's" at work means focusing on your strengths and actualized abilities, and leveraging them to achieve success and fulfillment in your work. It's about identifying what you excel at and putting your energy into honing those skills, pursuing tasks that align with your strengths, and finding opportunities to apply them in meaningful ways.

What are your "A" social activities? Just like with work, there are social activities that energize you, and there are those that drain you. There are people with whom spending time with excites and refreshes you, and there are those with whom spending time with leaves you worn out.

Maximizing your "A" social activities involves prioritizing and engaging in social interactions and events that bring fulfillment, joy, and meaning to your life. It's about identifying the activities, gatherings, or communities where you feel most comfortable, connected, and happy, and dedicating time and energy to participate in those social experiences.

Essentially, maximizing your "A" tasks at work is about prioritizing tasks that align with your strengths, skills and goals, while also contributing significantly to the success of your team or organization. It's about focusing on high-impact activities, delivering exceptional results, and continually seeking opportunities for growth and improvement in your professional endeavors.

Similarly, maximizing your "A" social activities is essentially about nurturing and investing in the social aspects of your life that bring you the most satisfaction and enrichment. Each of us owes it to ourselves to cultivate the lifestyle that feels ideal for us most of the time.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 13, Issue 20: Love Your Habits

Coming from writing about the importance of building smarter systems to guarantee the achievement of our goals, I want to reiterate the importance of loving our collection of habits, rituals, and routines that make up our days. How we feel about the things we do determines whether or not we enjoy life.

There are things we do for ourselves, some we do for other people, and others we do in the pursuit of our goals. Regardless of the category of the things we do, they make up our days, and as such, how we view and approach them shapes our days and the quality of our lives.

A good number of people view their habits, rituals and routines as obstacles, or, at the very least, obligations to get through. Working out, driving your children to school, preparing dinner, shopping for groceries, cleaning and organizing your house - we often regard routines as chores to be completed.

But these are not moments to be disregarded. They are life. They are not things we have to do. They are things we get to do. They are evidence of the blessings in our lives. Driving your children to their next activity is a reflection of the blessing of parenthood and time. Preparing dinner can be a calming ritual - perhaps even a fulfilling one - if done with abandon rather than rushed through.

All routines and rituals can be enjoyed and cherished. It comes down to the amount of attention you devote to those simple moments, and whether you choose to appreciate them or plow through them as fast as you can on the way to the next part of your day.

Habits, rituals and routines are what life is made up of. How can we enjoy life if we don't enjoy the things that make up our daily lives? Choose today to love and enjoy the things you do each day. By doing so, you will be choosing to love and enjoy your life.

"Find the joy and beauty in your daily rituals and you will find beauty and joy in your daily life. To love your habits is to love your days, and to love your days is to love your life." James Clear.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 13, Issue 19: Build Smarter Systems

How are you doing with your lifelong goals? There are goals that we set to go after for a season or so. But a number of our goals remain on the list year after year. They are not one-off goals, but rather goals that remain relevant to our success for the duration of our lives. They are our lifelong goals.

Just like any other goals, the realization of our lifelong goals is highly dependent on the habits we build. In the absence of a strong system of habits, our lifelong goals go unachieved year after year. At best, they remain at a below average level of attainment.

It's not enough to be consistent with a habit, we must endeavor to make improvements daily, regularly, or at least over time. In the pursuit of our lifelong goals, we must continue learning in order to continuously improve and adapt our habits for optimal results.

As I stood before the mirror this morning, the reflection of my physique reminded me that I have come a long way in my health and fitness journey. I remembered that I started this journey about 15 years ago. I have learnt so much about health and fitness over the years and adjusted and improved my practices over and over again.

It has taken building smarter systems over time to get me where I am today with my lifelong goals. And I am not done yet. 15 years ago I signed myself up as a lifetime student for personal development. Ever since, I have continued learning and improving my habits for my growth and to grow others.

"We all have goals in life, but the reality is your goals are only as good as the habits you build. It's your system - your collection of habits - that determine which goals will actually be achieved. Learn to build smarter systems and create habits that get you closer to your goals each day." James Clear.

Are you achieving your goals - your one-off goals, your seasonal goals and your lifelong goals? Do you have lifelong goals whose levels of achievement have remained subpar for years? It all boils down to your systems. It's time you built smarter systems and created habits that will help you achieve your goals.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 13, Issue 18: Focus And Win The Day

I like starting my day on a high note, getting things done before taking it easy. My approach is to get the most important and hardest tasks accomplished early in the day and early in the week, then take it easy towards the tail end of the day and week. This is a pay then play approach to life.

If you resonate with this approach, what do you do on a day or week when you have a lot on your plate? On such occurrences, I have found that it helps to start the day or week with quick wins. This motivates me to keep going after more wins, to keep plowing away at the tasks.

What's likely to happen on a loaded day or week is to feel overwhelmed and consequently paralyzed from taking action. Resist that temptation. Rather than looking at the whole pile of work that needs doing, just pick one and pretend it's the only task that needs your attention. Or start with short and easy tasks to register quick wins to motivate you to keep going.

Planning ahead gives focus to your day. And focus enables you to tackle your day efficiently and get what matters most done. Additionally, think of what you would be most proud of yourself today if you got it done and focus on getting it done first.

James Clear put it this way, "Focus is how you knit the hours of the day together. With focus, the day becomes a beautiful tapestry. Without focus, you end up holding a bundle of loose strings."

Focus is the compass that directs your energy towards your goals. It helps you cut through distractions and stay on track, allowing you to make progress efficiently. With focus, you can channel your efforts effectively, making it easier to overcome obstacles and achieve success. Whatever your pursuit, maintaining focus is key to winning the day.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi