Equipping young women professionals with young families to find fulfillment, contentment and joy as mothers and home makers without losing sight of who they are as women.

Volume 13, Issue 22: Larger Than The Situation

Not so long ago, I made a mess of things with someone. I didn't consider my actions improper at the time and even after being confronted by the person offended, so it took me a moment to apologize.

I admitted to myself that it didn't matter whether or not the confrontation was justified. The person was offended and I owed them an apology. My sincere apology got them off my back, but it took me a moment to get past the occurrence. It took a lot of empowering self talk to get my emotions back on track.

The point I want to make from that occurrence is that the confrontation rattled me. Part of the confrontation was sent in a voice message, and I dreaded listening to it. Needless to say, as much as I tried to put up a brave front and persist in my justification for my actions, the whole thing stressed me up.

My take away from that experience was the importance of being larger than a situation. It matters not whether the chaos happening are brought about by my own improper actions or they are brought about by someone's improper actions on me, or whether life is happening to me. The skill of being larger than the situation is extremely valuable at such times.

Had I mastered or remembered to employ this skill at the time, I wouldn't have been so miserable. I would have managed to not let my emotions get the best of me. Yes, I had made a mess that I needed to clean up by owning up and apologizing. But there was no need to let the chaos in. My actions and the confrontation were external occurrences. But I allowed them to rearrange me internally. I couldn't agree more with how James Clear put it in one of of his posts last August.

"A valuable skill in life is to be larger than the situation. When you're feeling stressed or rattled, the situation is consuming you. It feels bigger and more important than it needs to be. This is when your emotions are likely to get the best of you.

But when you are larger than the situation, you can mentally "step outside and above it." Yes, there are problems to be solved. Yes, you need to take action. But the chaos is happening externally, and you are still in the driver's seat internally. You're in control of the moment, the moment is not in control of you."

When you make a mess of things, or when someone's actions offend you, or when life happens to you, be quick to remind yourself that you are still in the driver's seat internally. Endeavor to maintain control of the moment, even as you take the necessary actions to address the situation.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi