Written by: Lillian Chebosi

Category: Free content

Created: 20 August 2024

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Volume 13, Issue 34: The Pareto Principle Lifestyle

I have found that even in a low season of life, I still don't have time for everything. There are people I want to sit down with, phone calls I want to make, books I want to read, places I want to go, and so forth. Yet, when I pause to look back, I am dumbfounded about how much time has lapsed since I last did some of the things I want to do.

There's so much vying for our attention each day and week. We are sometimes pulled in different directions for a myriad of purposes. So when I saw James Clear's post on living the Pareto principle lifestyle, it got me thinking about the adjustments I should make to show up well. Here's how James put it. "Live the Pareto principle lifestyle:

Relationships: Who are the few people that have the most positive impact on your life? Spend more time with them.

Priorities: What are the few actions that have the most positive impact on your day? Prioritize them.

Learning: What are the few information sources you learn the most from? Focus on them.

Stress: What are the few sources that cause most of the stress and friction in your life? Eliminate them."

For my relationships, I commit to calendarized every person I want to regularly call, visit or spend time with. Since time is limited, I also purpose to think of the people to eliminate spending time with.

For my priorities, I purpose to list down the actions that have the most positive impact on my day and diarize them to increase my chances of doing them each day.

For my learning, I need to narrow down my sources of information to the few that I learn from the most and eliminate all the rest.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Written by: Lillian Chebosi

Category: Free content

Created: 06 August 2024

Hits: 45

Volume 13, Issue 33: Enforcing Boundaries

When you have a made the best decision you could make for yourself regarding a situation and others take offense, how do you show up when confronted? Do you stand your ground and stand by your decision and communicate the same calmly and lovingly, or do you crumble under their disappointment and go back on your decision?

In the midst of a difficult situation, pause and ask yourself, "how do I want to show up?" Once you have all the information you need to make a decision to address the situation, embrace the courage to do what you must do and stand your ground.

We may not always make the right decisions, but when we notice disorders, decisions need to be made. Some of our decisions will not be popular to those affected by them, but we must have the courage to stand up for ourselves and stand by our decisions, stand by the decisions we make in good faith.

This is similar to setting boundaries. We find that as much as we know the importance of having boundaries in life, we sometimes feel guilty for enforcing them. We may wonder whether enforcing boundaries is unkind. However, this line of thinking concentrates our regard for what may be good for others, while neglecting our well being.

This is how James Clear put it in his post last week. "The question isn't whether to be flexible or firm, but when to be each one. A good life has a healthy mix of selfish boundaries and unselfish giving. You don't have to be all things at all times. Sometimes you pour for others and sometimes you refill your own cup. What does this moment call for?"

If for this moment or season, dropping something from the things you do is the only way you can show up well at everything else you do, then that's the right decision for you to make right now and stand by. Similarly, if you acknowledge that you have been over functioning in your relationships and decide to course-correct, then by all means take the necessary steps to reinstate proper alignment.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Written by: Lillian Chebosi

Category: Free content

Created: 20 July 2024

Hits: 130

Volume 13, Issue 32: Radical Acceptance

There comes a time for some of us when we realize that something we have been fixated on changing or improving isn't going to change. When we come to that realization, we admit to ourselves that we have been living in denial, trying so hard to fix or change something that we will never be able to fix or change.

Radical acceptance is when you accept the situations in your life for what they are, and when you accept the people in your life for who they are and how they carry themselves. Radical acceptance is when you throw your hands in the air and say, "It is what it is."

I like how Cathy Morenzie, a leader in health and wellness industry put it in her post yesterday. "Here's what we need to accept so that we can move forward proactively:

• Accept where you are in your life without making yourself right or wrong
• Accept the choices you have made in your life
• Accept your habits, behaviors, and patterns
• Accept all the mistakes you continue to make
• Accept that you're 100% responsible for how you feel right now, and at every given moment
• Accept that you're unable to change yourself
• Accept the things in your life that may never change
• Accept that it's your subconscious feelings and emotions that keep you stuck
• Accept that God is in control and He will work in your favor.

When you accept everything about your life, without judgement or rationalizations, that's when you can truly humble yourself and move through the messy middles."

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Written by: Lillian Chebosi

Category: Free content

Created: 18 July 2024

Hits: 304

Volume 13, Issue 31: Enhance Mental Toughness

I have found that achieving mental toughness is a journey. It is not something you gain once and you are good to go for the rest of life. Rather, it is something you keep working on and that gets tested every time you face trying situations and people.

Developing mental toughness involves continuous effort, practice, and experience over time. It requires building resilience, maintaining a positive mindset, and learning from challenges and setbacks.

Cultivating mental toughness requires habitual actions that reinforce resilience and determination over time. By cultivating mental toughness, you enhance your ability to handle difficult situations and people effectively.

Just like physical fitness, mental toughness needs regular maintenance and development to stay strong and effective. It can be developed and strengthened through regular, intentional actions.

If you find yourself constantly requiring to rely on your mental toughness, here are some key habits that if done regularly, would enhance your mental toughness:

• Practice positive self-talk: Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations to build a resilient mindset.
• Set goals: Break down larger goals into smaller manageable tasks to maintain motivation and focus.
• Embrace challenges: View challenges as opportunities for growth rather than threats.
• Practice mindfulness and meditation: Do this to enhance emotional regulation and reduce stress.
• Engage in physical exercise: Regular physical activity boosts mental wellbeing and resilience.
• Maintain healthy routines: Consistent sleep, nutrition and hydration habits support mental health.
• Learn from failure: Analyze setbacks to understand and learn from them.
• Practice gratitude: Regularly acknowledge and appreciate positive aspects of life to foster a positive attitude.
• Develop coping strategies: Have a toolkit of strategies for managing stress and anxiety.
• Build a support network: Surround yourself with supportive and positive individuals who encourage your growth.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Written by: Lillian Chebosi

Category: Free content

Created: 11 July 2024

Hits: 178

Volume 13, Issue 30: Choose Your "How"

Life has a way of surprising us. In some cases, a young individual may lose both parents tragically and find themselves in a position of having to take care of their younger siblings.

Sometimes, a wife may lose a husband and have to step up to be the sole breadwinner and parent to her children. Other times, incapacitation, or divorce, or a spouse's loss of a job, or their refusal to find paying work may leave the other spouse with the sole responsibility of taking care of a household.

In some instances, a chronic illness of a child, or spouse, or parent may require an individual to commit themselves to the responsibility of being a dedicated caregiver to the ailing family member.

Sometimes, parents find themselves having to bear the weight of dealing with a difficult or rebellious teenager. Yet still, an individual in the prime of life may find themselves struck with a debilitating illness, or unemployed for an extended period.

There are burdens that we bring upon ourselves by our own irresponsible actions. But there are also those that we just find ourselves in. As James Clear nicely put it, "You don't always get to choose the load, but you can choose how to carry it."

Once you admit and comprehend the load in front of you, you can come to your senses and deliberate with yourself how you are going to go about carrying the load. Granted, the situation may be difficult, and/or painful, and/or unfair, but you get to choose how are going to show up in the situation. That is entirely your prerogative.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi