Volume 13, Issue 33: Enforcing Boundaries
When you have a made the best decision you could make for yourself regarding a situation and others take offense, how do you show up when confronted? Do you stand your ground and stand by your decision and communicate the same calmly and lovingly, or do you crumble under their disappointment and go back on your decision?
In the midst of a difficult situation, pause and ask yourself, "how do I want to show up?" Once you have all the information you need to make a decision to address the situation, embrace the courage to do what you must do and stand your ground.
We may not always make the right decisions, but when we notice disorders, decisions need to be made. Some of our decisions will not be popular to those affected by them, but we must have the courage to stand up for ourselves and stand by our decisions, stand by the decisions we make in good faith.
This is similar to setting boundaries. We find that as much as we know the importance of having boundaries in life, we sometimes feel guilty for enforcing them. We may wonder whether enforcing boundaries is unkind. However, this line of thinking concentrates our regard for what may be good for others, while neglecting our well being.
This is how James Clear put it in his post last week. "The question isn't whether to be flexible or firm, but when to be each one. A good life has a healthy mix of selfish boundaries and unselfish giving. You don't have to be all things at all times. Sometimes you pour for others and sometimes you refill your own cup. What does this moment call for?"
If for this moment or season, dropping something from the things you do is the only way you can show up well at everything else you do, then that's the right decision for you to make right now and stand by. Similarly, if you acknowledge that you have been over functioning in your relationships and decide to course-correct, then by all means take the necessary steps to reinstate proper alignment.
For His Glory,
Lillian Chebosi