Equipping young women professionals with young families to find fulfillment, contentment and joy as mothers and home makers without losing sight of who they are as women.

Volume 02, Issue 38: You Are One-of-a-Kind

Do you struggle with accepting who you are, wondering why you are not like someone else you know? Do you speculate why you like the things you like, do things the way you do, different from other people around you?

Sometimes we struggle with people’s opinion of who we are, what we do or how we do things. We are compared to people around us, who seem to be doing things better than we are. Well, unless you border on mediocrity, they are not really better, just different. Do you struggle with people’s expectations of how you should do your work, business, ministry, and life in general?

Well, you are not supposed to be like anyone else, or do things exactly the way the person next to you does. God did not make you who you are just so you can be like someone else.

The expression of who you are is not supposed to be exactly like that of others. Don’t waste your life comparing yourself to others, or trying to conform to other people’s expectations of who you should be. Focus on being the best you can be and doing your own work well.

You are God’s handcrafted work of art. You are not an assembly-line product, mass produced without thought. You are custom-designed, one-of-a kind, original masterpiece. God deliberately fashioned you to make your contribution unique.

Being yourself is the secret of both fruitfulness and fulfillment in your work and life. You are most effective when you use your abilities in the area of your passion in a way that best expresses your personality and experiences.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 02, Issue 37: Pay the Price for the Prize

The last few weeks we have watched with amazement as world class athletes battle it out for the top prize. Celebrating the success of those who have won, some of us have wished we could do such exploits and win the acclamations of the world. What we may not have thoroughly considered is all that went on behind the scenes for these fine athletes to present such marvelous displays of polished talents and abilities.

As we observe the crowning of achievers across various fields, we admire their success and long to see ourselves receiving the tributes and being celebrated. What we hesitate to embrace is that they did not wake up one day and found success.

Today’s Olympics world champions have paid the price for the prize. Prior to arriving on stage, they have toiled day and night to perfect their abilities and position themselves for success.

Having realized that to be great, you have to move past the possible and start chasing the impossible, the London Olympians have worked hard, made incredible sacrifices, and practiced over and over again. These champions have earned their place among the greats.

What do you want to be great at? What are you passionate about? What is the thing that God has given you the ability to do well? Count the cost. Determine the price you are willing to pay for the prize. Then begin paying the price, and in the fullness of time you shall attain your dream.

It is not the will to win that matters. It is the will to prepare to win that matters. What price are you willing to pay for your dreams? Acknowledge that anything worth attaining takes hard work, and then name your price. Choose what you are willing to give up, to go up.

Achievers pay a price for the prize. They apply their learning and make the difficult changes. It’s easy to receive knowledge and continue doing business as usual. Applying our learning takes us out of our comfort zone. If you wish to not just applaud others but be applauded as well, declare it time for business unusual. Do whatever it takes to develop your skills and exploit your potential. Value excellence and observe the hard work involved.

Every achievement has a different price to pay. When you choose to go against the grain, you risk being misunderstood, ridiculed, and possibly rejected. Make up your mind from the onset that you will persist and outlast your opposition.

Not all the athletic world champions in London today are winning the gold medal, or even the bronze. But they are not giving up. In the face of adversity in the pursuit of your dreams, determine to live out the words of Maya Angelou who wrote that you may encounter many defeats but you must not be defeated.

As you devote yourself to make a difference, don’t underestimate the power of unwavering diligence in achieving your goals. Work hard at what you do and embrace the discipline to stay in the process of what you want to be great at.

Lillian Chebosi

A FOOLISH WOMAN TEARS DOWN HER HOME

Proverbs 14:1 ‘A wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.’

Folly has a raggedy house. The foolish woman tears down her house with her own hands. Her life and affairs are in constant disarray because of the foolish choices she makes.

A wise woman fears the Lord and shuns evil, but a fool is hotheaded and reckless (Proverbs 14:16).

Let us consider some of the mistakes we make as women that tear down our homes.

A foolish woman tears down her home by:

• Despising her husband in her heart.

- What she thinks of him

- How she regards him in her heart

1 Chronicles 15:29; As the Ark of the Covenant was entering the city of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David dancing and celebrating, she despised him in her heart.

• Competing with her husband.

- Rather than supporting her husband, she competes for leadership with him.

- Instead of standing by him and rallying behind him to help him fulfill his vision, she stubbornly pushes for her own agenda.

- What can you sacrifice for the time being?

Philippians 2:3-7; Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same attitude of mind Christ Jesus had: who, being in the very nature of God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

• Not being a role model to her children

- She has not earned the respect of her children by the way she relates to her husband.

- She conducts herself in an irreverent manner. Thus, her character and behavior are not worth emulating.

Titus 2:3-5 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

• Engaging in unwholesome talk.

- She is careless in her speech

- She makes threats to her husband and children

- She engages in manipulative criticism and withholds due praise and encouragement.

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

• Slandering her husband, hence failing to honour him

- She misrepresents her husband; talking ill of him and broadcasting his shortcomings to family and friends.

- She disrespects and dishonors her husband

Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

• Being partial with her children.

- She favors one/some children over others.

- She compares the children and chooses not to love them equally.

Genesis 27:11-17 Jacob takes Esau’s blessing through the scheming of his mother Rebekah, leading to family feuds and separation. Jacob missed the pleasure of being with both of his children in his old age - Paraphrase.

• Making no effort to be attractive to her husband

- She is least concerned about her personal appearance and countenance.

- She does not make an effort to stay attractive to her husband, thus taking him for granted.

Proverbs 24:3 By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established.

• Neglecting house work, thinking of home-making as beneath her.

- She does not take charge of her household

- She is lazy, disorganized, and would rather have servants run her home.

- She views domesticity as something that is beneath her

-Her house is a mess, disorganized, and unattractive. She doesn’t take time to cultivate good taste in her household, thereby failing to transform her house into a safe haven for her family

Proverbs 24:4 Through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures

• Withholding good from her husband and children.

- She has not made her home, marriage and children a priority. Her career pursuits, activities and friends take prominence over her family

- She fails to make her home a refuge by creating a good atmosphere

- She delegates or neglects the core aspects of loving her husband and children.

- She withholds her time and attention, and whatever is good from them.

Proverbs 3:27 Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.

Do you identify with the foolish woman? There’s a way out;

• Seek wisdom to find balance between advancing your career and building your home.

James 3: 17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

• Address the issues that are causing trouble in your home.

Songs of Songs 2:15 Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.

• Find mature, balanced successful women who can walk with you and mentor you on the art of womanhood and home-making.

• Give yourself to the study of the word of God to obtain divine guidance for victorious living.

Lillian Chebosi

A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

Proverbs 14:1 ‘A wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.’

I believe no woman in her right mind intentionally tears down her home. Those who do so act in lack of understanding, sheer ignorance, and foolishness. Wisdom is everything in life. It spares us a lot of heartache and needless loss of the things we hold dear.

Wisdom is more precious than anything of great value. Nothing you desire can compare with her. She offers you long life in the right hand, and riches and honour in the left. Her paths are delightful, and her ways satisfying. Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her; happy are those who hold her tightly.

Wisdom comes from God. The word of God equips us for every good work, which includes building our homes. God gives us wisdom so we can live lives that please Him. In the absence of wisdom, we can deal with life recklessly, let our emotions toss us to and fro.

Wisdom is not just an accumulation of the right information; it is also the ability to apply it in one’s life. Hence the need to get understanding. Understanding cements your commitment to make wise choices and stick with doing the right thing even when you don’t feel like it.

Wisdom builds her house and has it firmly set on a foundation of seven strong pillars. When you embrace wisdom, it will lead you to riches, honour, enduring wealth and prosperity, (Proverbs 8 and 9). Wisdom serves rare delicacies. Her meals leave you full and satisfied – intoxicated with joy and peace.

Whether it be a man or material possessions, you will need wisdom to get them and keep them. A wise woman understands the need for acquiring and walking in wisdom.

A wise woman builds her home by:

• Submitting to her husband.

This is not a choice, but a command to obey. It is not something she does only if her husband deserves it. She recognizes that wives are commanded to submit to their husbands in spite of their attitude or behaviour.

Ephesians 5:22; Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

• Being blameless and pure.

She is committed to living a blameless and pure life, endeavoring to be at peace with everyone. Her actions are consistent with the faith she professes, engaging only in what is pleasing to her Lord.

Philippians 2:14-15; Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crocked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky. 

• Maintaining wholesome speech.

She doesn’t open her mouth to speak just anyhow. When she speaks, her words are seasoned with grace. Her language is clean and edifying. She opens her mouth with wisdom and the law of kindness is on her tongue. From her servants to people she works with, to her own husband and children, she treats everyone with kindness, humility, and respect.

Ephesians 4:29; Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

• Being reverent in the way she lives.

She doesn’t live a careless life. Her ways are honourable and respectable before God and man. She conducts herself in a fashion that is beyond reproach and her behavior does not violate God’s Word. She dedicates herself to develop others to good works.

Titus 2:3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.

• Loving her husband and children.

She does not withhold good; her time and attention, and whatever is good from her husband and children. She doesn’t delegate or neglect the core aspects of loving her family. She greatly enriches their lives.

Titus 2:4; Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children.

• Interceding for them.

She prays for her husband and children. She commits them to the Lord, careful not to leave anything that concerns them to chance.

1 Samuel 25:18-35 Abigail acted quickly. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys…..

• Allowing her husband to be the head.

She does not compete for leadership with her husband. She allows her husband to be the head, while being a great support to him to help him fulfill his vision.

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, his body.

• Teaching and training her children.

She teaches and trains her children in the way that they should go, thereby ensuring that they do not go astray and lose out in life. She disciplines them, thus driving foolishness far from her children, and preparing them to succeed in life.

Proverbs 22:6; Start off children the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

• Being tender-hearted.

She listens to her children, reassures and encourages them. She showers them with love and affection, both physically and verbally. This woman openly and extravagantly expresses love to her children. She approves, accepts and affirms them, hence building their self-worth and confidence.

Isaiah 49:15 Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you.

• Being a crown to her husband.

She represents her husband well; he is well spoken of and esteemed. She does not disrespect or dishonor her husband.

Proverbs 12:4 A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

• Paying attention to her appearance

She does not take her husband for granted. She pays close attention to her appearance, both during the day and at night. She enjoys looking her best and makes an effort to stay attractive to her husband.

Proverbs 24:3 By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established.

• Being a home maker.

She takes charge of her household. She carefully watches over everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. She organizes her home and cultivates good taste in her household, turning her house into a home.

Proverbs 24:4 Through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.

Realize that sense is not common. Educate yourself in order to have good sense in managing practical matters. Learn the value of discretion. Good judgment and sensitivity to others are rare, but highly esteemed traits.

Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding Proverbs 4:7.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 02, Issue 36: Personal Makeover V: Finances

Money is won or lost at the habits level. Are your habits winning you money or losing you money? Should you be losing, consider giving your financial habits a makeover.

Are you often finding yourself with more month at the end of the money? This certainly creates a sense of insecurity. Refuse to be ruled by impulse but rather make wise and responsible choices concerning your finances. Separate your needs from your wants. Be honest with yourself and partner with God to create security for your future by watching how you spend today.

Some of us have to reconsider our definition of wealth. Acquiring toys of heavy spending is perceived wealthy even when our large cashflows are directed to waste instead of wealth creation. People may label you rich because of your heavy spending habits. However, wealth is not defined by the effortless flow of cash, rather the quantity of money you are controlling.

Cultivate a savings and investments culture. Your wealth is measured by the length of time you can live at the same standard of life you have today after retiring from active work. How wealthy are you today? How many days would you be able to live at your current standard of life if you retired from active work today? The more you save and invest from your daily earnings the more wealthy you are.

Let your money work for you. Find investment opportunities that are within your risk bargain. It’s a good thing to save but you are better off putting your money where it can grow. Your regular savings account may be yielding you a merger 1% interest, while your savings could yield more than 10% in better savings plans, and even much more in investment options.

Are you stuck up with credit card impulse spending and debt? How about non-developmental loans here and there? Decide to take control of your finances and do some plastic surgery. Cut up unnecessary credit cards. Desist from purchasing more than you can pay for when the statement comes. Get out of debt. Set up a plan to pay up your non-developmental loans in the shortest time possible.

Put your financial house in order. Pay your tithe first, invest, and set up an emergency fund. Aim to grow it to cover about twelve months of your monthly budget in case you find yourself out of work or unable to earn an income for a season. Be on top of your money, from how you spend on minor to major purchases. Prepare a budget and stick to your budget no matter what temptations bring your way.

Lillian Chebosi