Equipping young women professionals with young families to find fulfillment, contentment and joy as mothers and home makers without losing sight of who they are as women.

Knowing Your Place
Inspired by the story of Sarah (Genesis 16-18, 21)

Sarah and Abraham had no children and were looking forward to having one as a fulfillment of Gods promise to them.

But the promise took quite a while to come to pass. Sarah gets discouraged and tries to help God, move things a little bit faster. She gives her maidservant, Hagar, to Abraham, hoping to build a family through her.

However, this arrangement did not work as Sarah had imagined it. When Hagar conceived, she began to despise her.

What are you perceiving as your deficiency as a wife in your home? For some like Sarah, its barrenness, for others, it is joblessness, or lack of a good education, or a lousy family background, or maybe a not-so-rosy past.

These conditions have the potential to affect how we view ourselves, the value we deem of ourselves as wives. They have the capacity to make you feel that you have let your husband down, that you are not worth your position in the home. They can lower your self-worth as a wife.

But this wasn’t the case for Sarah. She may have felt she let her husband down, thus offered a trial solution though Hagar, but she did not feel less valuable to Abraham for not having borne him children.

Sarah knew Hagar was her mistress with or without a child, and she did not allow Hagar room to despise her. She talked to her husband about it and Abraham reminded her of her place – to deal with her servant.

Sarah knew her place and rights and could make demands accordingly. Just because Hagar had borne Abraham a son did not make her feel she was less of a wife. She knew she was still the lady of the home, her husband’s beloved. God was in agreement, and Hagar had to submit to Sarah, just like before the pregnancy.

Later on, Sarah gets a son with Abraham, for God wasn’t going to settle for fleshly solutions to fulfill his promise. As Isaac was growing up, Sarah noticed Hagar’s son, Ishmael mocking. Knowing her place, Sarah spoke with finality that Ishmael would never share the inheritance with her son Isaac.

Sarah knew that Isaac was the child of the promise. She boldly asked her husband to send Hagar and her son away. This is to put it kindly. In essence, she demanded that Abraham gets rid of them. This was right in God’s sight, and so Abraham complied. He enquired of the Lord and agreed to listen to and do as Sarah desired.

Unlike Abraham, who reminded and reassured Sarah of her position in his life, your husband may not know your place and rights as a wife in his home, but you must know it and require it accorded to you. This does not in any way purport being bossy and dishonouring your husband.

God expects submission of wives. Sarah obeyed Abraham and even referred to him as “my lord,” and treated him as such. Through her submission to her husband, Sarah established that her mission in life was to help her husband fulfill God’s purpose for him.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 02, Issue 40: Live Out Your Expectation

The best gift we can give ourselves is to be who we pretend to be. It is hypocritical to teach what we are not applying in our lives. As we share our learning with others, we should be careful to live out what we teach.

Leaders bear the greatest burden for accountability. When you offer those you lead a credible example, you won’t have to say much. You will have a faithful following because of your example.

As teachers, people are yearning for our example more than they want our lessons. A compelling example does more than any lesson. Model what you teach. Provide a compelling example to your apprentice.

Are you subjecting yourself to the same standard you expect of your protégés? Don’t be hard on others while being easy on yourself. Expect more from yourself than you expect of others. Don’t excuse yourself of what you accuse others. We shouldn’t require qualities in others that we do not possess. Model your expectation. Nothing is stronger in influencing people than a good example.

I speak to audiences regularly. I would be dishonest to say that I live by everything I teach to the letter. Sometimes I am work in progress of the lessons I teach. However, I strive to reach the ideal of the lessons I teach, and I am not there yet. I realize that more than any lesson, my example counts for everything.

It’s not about perfection, but the consistency of your actions. Strive to be a credible example. The key to becoming a person worth emulating is to transform into one committed to living his or her learning. The best gift you can give to people looking up to you to be a good example.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 02, Issue 39: Teaching Profits the Teacher

As I sit under great minds through books, tapes, conferences and other learning avenues, I am disciplining myself to take note of what I want to apply, what I want to change and what I want to teach.

It is not enough to apply what we learn, we need to pass it on to others to clarify our learning and commit ourselves to change. When you pursue knowledge with the objective of teaching others, you work harder than when you learn just to benefit yourself. In the process, you get more out of your learning.

We learn better when we teach. When we learn with the intent of self-change and passing our learning to others, our concentration is enhanced and the propensity to apply our learning intensified.

As much as it’s done to benefit others, teaching profits the teacher. It clarifies your learning and commits you to change more than anything else. Teaching continually lifts the teacher to a higher level.

Teaching keeps you accountable because it is hypocritical to teach what you are not applying in your life. Teaching what we know commits us to live out what we have learnt. The burden of being a credible example of the principles we promote accentuates as we teach.

Live with the awareness that you are here to add value to people. As you interact with people, let your attitude be to teach them something you know in order to help them come up higher.

Use your gifts and experience not just to accomplish your goals, but to help release a dream in someone else. Find something you are knowledgeable and passionate about and teach it to someone.

Lillian Chebosi

 

 

It is Well

Inspired by the story of the Shunammite Woman (2 Kings 4:8-37)

The Shunammite woman was blessed with the son she secretly desired but did not ask for. Because of her unreserved hospitality to the man of God, Elisha sought to seek God to bless her with a son.

Awhile later, the gift that she was given, the child who was her greatest joy caused her to experience her greatest pain. The child died.

The Shunammite woman did not waste time grieving, asking "why me?" She did not broadcast her woe to her friends and relatives, or transfer her pain to her husband. Instead, she quietly resolved to pursue a solution. She went in search of the one who had blessed her, to see if he could bless her again.

The Shunammite woman did not tell her husband that the child had died. Having decided not to burden him with her grief, she responded to his questions with a simple "It’s all right". Although the greatest love of her life was gone, she chose to believe that it would be well. She never lost faith in the face of what seemed to be a hopeless situation and learned an incredible lesson about restoration.

On the way she meets Elisha’s aide who asks her if everything is alright with her and her family. Her response is resounding. She says "All is well."

Most of us are quick to broadcast our troubles to people who do not have the power to help us. We unashamedly air our dirty laundry to anyone who would listen. We are too quick to bring others in when something upsetting happens, thus spreading negative energy and getting everyone excited prematurely.

Share your hurt only with those with the wisdom and power to help you find a remedy. Keep quiet for just a moment before letting in the noise of others. It is in the stillness that you will hear the voice of wisdom on the course to take.

Don’t tell those who cannot handle the news. They will convince you out of your faith for a reversal of the situation. They will tell you to accept your loss and move on when you can have a chance at a different outcome.

Like the Shunammite woman, don’t be in a hurry to accept your misfortune. Seek a solution first. If all attempts fail, resign yourself to your loss and weather it by continuing your life gracefully.

Can you come out and say "It is well," even when hell is breaking lose in your life? Can God trust you with ground shaking trials to be a testimony of His greatness, or would you rather easily give in to your loss? When the doctors diagnose you with a life threatening disease, do you give up the fight to restore your health? Can you dare say "It is well" when you lose your job? Do you throw in the towel at the onset of the slightest storm in your marriage? Most of the separations and divorces in our society today could be avoided if only we learnt to say "It is well," refuse to accept the bad and resolve to find a solution.

We are not ordinary people. Our advocate is a mender of things. God is in the business of turning ashes into beauty. Many people refuse to believe that God can bring good out of the worst of situations. He can. If only you would take to Him the bad and ask Him to fix it, rather than give up the fight to bring your blessing back to life.

Being able to look good on paper despite what is going on beneath the surface is a divine quality. Never let others see you sweat. Have immovable faith no matter what is happening around you. Don’t waste time complaining and having a pity party. Focus on the solution and pursue it.

Do not be bowed by your pain. Rather, learn to transfer your pain into a positive thing. Master the art of living over your circumstances. Determine not to give in easily to crisis. Don’t allow it to change your demeanor. Understand that disappointments and setbacks are inevitable, but misery is optional. Without losing your composure, have the courage to face your pain and believe in an answer.

We get what we expect. Walk in constant expectancy of blessings - of your heart’s desires being met by believing that God wants to bless you. Those who know who they are and who they serve are able to walk in the expectation of their desires being fulfilled. In spite of loss or disappointment, know your true worth in God’s sight and do not shy from seeking it.

Lillian Chebosi

 

 

Nurture a Quiet Spirit
Inspired by the story of Abigail (1 Samuel 25)

Abigail had just returned from cleaning up the mess her husband had made by offending David. When her servant told her what had happened, she calmed everyone down and shifted into damage-control mode. She quickly gathered resources and rode off to meet David to apologize on behalf of her husband.

Returning home after successfully talking David out of his plot to take fatal revenge on her entire household, she finds her husband having a party. Given the stress she had just endured, it would have taken a lot of restraint not to interrupt his celebration and tell him of what a fool he had been.

But Abigail resisted the urge to confront her husband. She kept her cool and turned in for the night. She left him to his revelry and took time to collect and center herself. The next morning over breakfast she calmly related what had happened the previous day. Nabal had a fit. Abigail’s response to his outburst is not recorded; perhaps she had none.

How do you handle times when your man is upset with you and he is letting it fly? Do you raise your voice too; give him a piece of your mind, especially when you know he is wrong? Have you found responding furiously to fury productive? Some would say “You’ve got to fight fire with fire,” but I beg to differ.

How do you respond when offended, or misjudged?  Most of the time we are itching to be heard; we want the other person to hear our argument. We can’t wait to launch a counter-attack, and defend ourselves. We wish to vent out and get back at the one who has aggravated us. As women, we would like to let our words fly off the handle when our men act out of character.

From the story of Abigail, we see the power in being calm and collected in the midst of chaos. We need to embrace the wonderful truth that unlike men, we can win our battles without flexing a muscle. And we don’t have to raise our voice to be heard either.

Conflicts are best resolved in a state of calmness. As we encounter conflicts at home, we ought to consider our actions and their consequences before reacting on impulse. We have to desist from reacting in a destructive manner. Walk softly and consider all the facts before reacting or responding emotionally. Measure your words and choose wisdom over foolishness.

You’ve got to maintain your composure even when your man is losing his. Master the art of self-control in your life. Exercises discretion and prudence, moving and acting carefully regardless of what is going on around you.

Self-control does not always feel good initially. Sometimes you just want to let it fly when someone aggravates you. But when you consider what the outcome of that situation would be, wisdom assures you it would be far better to keep your mouth shut.

Be able to maintain a reputation for great poise despite the kind of situations you may have to constantly deal with. Learn how to be silent, and refuse to give more credit to the offense. Do what you can to maintain peace in your surroundings and allow God to handle what you cannot.

Lillian Chebosi