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Volume 12, Issue 13: Unbothered

When we get hurt or offended by someone, especially from a misunderstanding or wrong assumption or accusation, we desperately want to get heard by them. We want to tell them that what they thought about us isn't true, that we didn't do or say or mean what they think we did or said or meant. That they were wrong about us.

We go to lengths trying to explain ourselves, then we want them to be remorseful for misjudging us and to apologize. But sometimes that doesn't happen. The person who wrongfully accused us and offended us doesn't admit they were wrong and apologize. What do we do then? What should we do?

We let it go. We decide to be unbothered. We accept that they are never going to see things our way and let them be. It comes time a when we have to let go of the offense and take the high road. How do we do this?

  • By being too big to care. We decide to play at a higher level than them, refuse to care about their behavior.
  • By being unmoved by their behavior. We decide to not be moved by their behavior.
  • By not magnifying the offense with our attention. We decide to remove our focus from them and the offense and focus on things worthy of our attention.
  • By remaining unperturbed. We accept that they will never see our side and and stop trying to win them over.
  • By remaining calm. The Bible cautions against fighting with a fool. When we remain calm, we come out on top.

Choose to be unbothered by the offenses laid on you by others. Take the high road, and you will come out on top.

 

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

 

 

Volume 12, Issue 12: Wait For Direction

Every now and then we find ourselves in a decision valley, needing to make a decision amidst varied options and opinions. We then turn to God for guidance and direction, a good thing. But we are often too impatient to wait on him, or too clouded with noise to hear him. I know, because I was recently there.

I had a decision to make for someone. There was two of us, deliberating on a difficult decision for a teenager we care about. This teenager didn't make it easy. She knew what she wanted and stuck to her guns. We didn't want what she wanted and were determined to make her accept our choice for her.

All along, I was praying that God would lead us to make the right decision, one that would make the best fit for the teenager. It was weeks into the daze and I wasn't hearing anything from the Lord. I felt confused and helpless, and eventually let the other person take the lead in steering us on. I went along with their decision for us to proceed with our initial plan, even though the teenager was still against it.

Then I got direction. A day later it became clear to me that our plan wasn't the right plan for the teenager, and that we needed to quickly change course. It was good to have direction at last, but what bothered me was why it took so long for me to get it. I wondered whether I had been impatient or whether the Lord was speaking all along but I was too clouded to hear him.

Whatever the case, this experience has taught me to never be in a hurry to make a crucial decision. I will tarry until I am quiet enough to hear, until the Lord gives me direction. I will wait on the Lord patiently, until I hear him. I have made enough wrong decisions in the past, it's time to learn my lesson and decide to always wait on the Lord for direction.

 

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

 

 
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Volume 12, Issue 11: Stay In The Game

I used to walk for slightly over an hour each day. I like workouts that are at least 30 minutes long. As a result, I used to look down on short workouts. My attitude was that of all or nothing, until I ran into a slack season. Then I realized that I was going to end up with very few workouts or none at all this season if I don't settle for a short workout when I am low on time or motivation.

A small doze of something that is good for you on a consistent basis is better than nothing at all in the hope of getting a big doze of it. I would rather squeeze in a 10 of 15 minutes workout every week day than have none for waking up late.

What are you putting off until your circumstances are better? What activities have you put on hold until you are in a position to give it your all? If you are waiting to get a raise before you can start saving, then you are not only lying to yourself, you are also wasting your opportunities.

If you have put pursuing your master's degree on hold until you have more time in your hands or feel like it, then you may wait a long time and delay your chances for career advancement. Do it small, until you can do it big.

If you are used to having long workouts or long walks, but currently can't seem to find the time or motivation to do it, settle for a shorter workout or walk in the meantime. Small is better than nothing any day.

A consistent flow of small drops of water into a large bucket eventually fills the bucket to the brim, to overflowing. Small consistent steps in the right direction will keep you in the game. Walk, until you can run again. Do it small, until you can do it big again.

 

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

 

 
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Volume 12, Issue 10: Maximize Your Second Quarter

Are you in age bracket of between 20 and 40 years of age? If you are, you are in what is generally considered the second quarter of life. At the age of 20 you are most likely almost done with your first college degree. A few years thereafter is the stage when most people are starting their careers and getting married.

By the age of 30, most married young people are underway in starting a family, are almost completing their master's degree and are advancing in their careers. And by the age of 40, most people are settled in their careers and are raising pre-teens and/or teens.

It is in the second quarter that you need you maximize your gains. You can't wait for after 40 to get yourself on track. Now is the time to do the work, to lay the foundation for the future you want.

The second quarter is the quarter when you get ahead in life. It is where you actually gain ground. So take full advantage of it and rack up the points. Doing so will give you a better foundation for your forties and fifties and sixties and beyond.

Finances: Are you mastering your finances in your second quarter? Are you aggressively saving and investing now while you have the resources at hand? Take advantage of the time vale of money and start early. Save as much as you can in your second quarter.

Career: Are you advancing your career in your second quarter? Don't postpone your master's degree. Take advantage of the professional development opportunities that are available to you in your second quarter. Set yourself up for abounding success in your forties and beyond.

Physical Health: Are you taking care of your body in your second quarter? Are you eating mostly wholesome foods and exercising? Work to take care of your body in your second quarter. Your future life will thank you for it.

Relationships: Are you investing in good friendships in your second quarter? It's the friendships that you build in your second quarter that will carry you through the third and fourth quarters of your life.

Spirituality: Are you building your spiritual muscle in your second quarter? This is the time to not only be a regular church goer, but to deepen your walk with the Lord - to dive deeper into the Scriptures and to develop a strong prayer life.

Be intentional about maximizing the second quarter of your life. Doing so will give you a better foundation for the rest of your life.

 

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

 

 
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Volume 12, Issue 09: Radiate His Glory

I was presented with a test yesterday, without my knowledge at the time. The person who had deeply wronged me a couple of weeks ago sent me an email as she couldn't reach me on phone since I had blocked her number. She wasn't writing to apologize and seek reconciliation. She wrote to ask for my help with something important to her. She had found herself in a crisis and reached out to me to come through for her.

Right away, I knew it wasn't right for me to come through for her the way she wanted. But that I could help her in a different way. But what I missed to see in her message is the absence of an apology or remorse over what she had done to me. I went ahead and wrote a brief response, giving her options to consider to address her crisis.

The shocker came a few moments later when she showed up at my door. This person had earlier shut her door in my face when I had gone to her house to see her about the offense she had caused me. She had falsely accused me of something outrageous, busted me, then blocked me, hence denying me a chance to respond in my defense. I let her in and listened to her, then gave her counsel for her crisis. After she left, I sent her an email with a message of encouragement.

It was later in the evening when I reread her message that I found that this person sought me out not because she wanted to first make things right between us. She sought me out to take advantage of the kindness I could extend to her. I am glad I was wise to not give her what she asked for. But I do not regret giving her what I believe is what she really needed - counsel and encouragement.

What I glean from this experience is how important it is for us to represent God well, even when ambushed. I could have slammed my door in her face like she did to me. I could have taken her down memory lane of how she wronged and hurt me not so long ago. But I didn't bring it up. I listened to her, advised her and encouraged her.

We have a testimony to uphold. We need to demonstrate to haters and enemies that we are not like them, that we dance to a different tune. We need to offer kindnesses in exchange for ill treatment, and love for hate. We need to allow the Christ in us shine for all to see. We need to radiate God's glory in whatever circumstances we find ourselves in. I am grateful to have had the grace and wisdom to do that yesterday.

 

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi