Equipping young women professionals with young families to find fulfillment, contentment and joy as mothers and home makers without losing sight of who they are as women.

Volume 02, Issue 33: Personal Makeover II: Relationships

It’s worthwhile to take stock of our relationships every now and then, see which of them we want to keep, which ones we want to rearrange, and the ones we want to flush out.

In evaluating your relationships, make a list of people you want to emulate – the characteristics you admire about them; those who inspire you and how they inspire you; those who are toxins to flush out; those who are hindrances - obstacles in your life; those who are distractions - a waste of your time; and the friends you want to hold on to.

The goal of personal renovation for relationships is to develop excellent relationships. Some of us hang on to relationships that no longer serve us, sometimes even to ones that are clearly detrimental to our well being. We need to shake off the false sense of responsibility and love ourselves enough to only be in relationships that are taking us somewhere.

Disentangle yourself from dead-end business relationships. When you realize that your input is constantly not being reciprocated by those in your mastermind group, maybe it’s time to find yourself another group, one that will take you to the next level in business. Sometimes we need to get ourselves a mastermind group of people at a higher level than ourselves, to take us to a higher level in our thinking.

Find yourself mentors and coaches, people who will walk alongside you to spur you to stretch to your potential and experience transformation in various areas of your life. Connect with mature and experienced personalities who will usher you to the next level and hold you accountable. Find mentors for the various areas in the wheel of life - relationships, spiritual growth and transformation, financial soundness, career and business, and so on. Don’t walk alone. Let there be a burning torch in every area of your life.

Are you single and constantly going out for coffee dates with one or multiple suitors? Where is that relationship going, is there an end in mind, or is the person you are relating with taking you for a ride? Don’t waste your time and emotions in pointless relationships. Love yourself enough to do dating with purpose. Be in relationships that are taking you to your desired destination. Don’t allow others play around with you. Know the value of your heart and body, and keep yourself pure. Don’t compromise your standards. Be willing to wait for the right moment to awaken love.

Sometimes we carry people along with us whose time in our lives has expired. Realize that some people come into your life just for a season. Release them, and free yourself for new relationships in the different seasons of your life. Some relationships are nothing but a pain but we feel we have to hang on to them. Apart from your spouse and children, you have no obligation to keep someone in your life indefinitely.

Throw out all the baggage. Be in relationships where you are celebrated, not tolerated. Surround yourself with the right support system, not a wrecking crew. Surround yourself with those who see and nurture your gifts and exhort you to be better than you already are.

Are there vital relationships in your life that you need to mend and repair? Are there some key relationships that you have neglected over time that you need to restore? Do you have any worn out and rusted important relationships that you need to give new to life to – fix up and refurbish? It’s your call. Don’t wait for the other parties to make the first move. Take responsibility to develop excellent relationships for yourself and others.

Lillian Chebosi