Equipping young women professionals with young families to find fulfillment, contentment and joy as mothers and home makers without losing sight of who they are as women.

Volume 09, Issue 16; He Pursues Us With Love

I thought to revisit the article I posted last Easter as it carried so much weight of the meaning of the season for me. The approach of Easter this year felt a little dry for me as my mind raced in different directions with a myriad of all kinds of to-do-lists. And so, I wanted to bring myself to a place of stillness to partake of and not miss out on Easter this year. I didn’t want this moment to pass by like just another public holiday and long weekend, I wanted to be present in the season. So, to center myself I went back to this season last year when I was very present, to bring forth those meditations and soak in them once more.

I remember how I felt last year, and how I recollected in my mind what Easter means to me. I want to embrace that and keep it before me amidst all the busyness of life that can cause important things to fade. I want to drink in what was so real to me last year, that Easter holiday is a great reminder of God’s love. I wrote that the cross is not something we think of seriously but it means everything. I know this first hand. It’s because of the cross that our sins are forgiven, our diseases are healed, curses are broken, blessings are established. You see, the cross is very personal. The victorious life I enjoy as a Christian today is because of appropriating Jesus’s sacrifice on the cross for me. And that goes for you too. We get to experience life on God's terms because of the cross.

If it weren’t for the cross, I wouldn’t triumph over all the troubles that come my way. It if weren’t for the cross, I wouldn’t go through trouble, I would live in trouble. If it weren’t for the cross, I would remain heartbroken from the heart breaks I encounter. If it weren’t for the cross, I wouldn’t have the guarantee of health and wholeness. If it weren’t for the cross, I wouldn’t be free from the curses inherited from my forefathers’ idolatry. If it weren’t for the cross, I would be wallowing in poverty and shame. If it weren’t for the cross, I would be afraid, ashamed, unworthy, unfavoured, rejected, dismissed, broken, despised, without hope. I am grateful for the cross. What does Jesus sacrifice and triumph on the cross mean to you?

Most of us go through life out of touch with what Jesus did for us. We make it seem like we were just fine without His sacrifice. No, we were not just fine, not by a long shot. The first time I listened to the “Unstoppable Love” song by Kim Walker Smith of Jesus Culture three years ago left me overwhelmed. Easter is about God’s love for human kind. There’s one place where love has been richly offered yet not everyone receives it. God has poured out his love, invited us to receive and experience it. What Jesus did on the cross for us was final. His love was freely poured out for us. Nothing can separate us from God’s love.

As heartily expressed by Kim in the song, God pursues us with power and glory, unstoppable love that never ends. He is unrelenting with passion and mercy, unstoppable love that never ends. God deemed us worthy of His love, and nothing we do or encounter can stop God’s love. No sin, no shame, no past, no pain can separate us from God’s love. No height, no depth, no fear, no death can separate us from God’s love. There’s no end to God’s love, it goes on forever.

Many of us know Jesus personally but not passionately. We don’t really know how much He loves us. This Easter, may God empower us with inner strength and power to understand the extent of His Love. I pray for an encounter with God’s amazing love this Easter, that God would give us a passion for His presence and set our hearts on pursuing him with all we are.

I am not satisfied with knowing God loves me just because the Bible tells me He does. I am continually pressing in to know this love for myself, making His presence the primary pursuit of my life. May our desire be to fall radically in love with Jesus, so in love with Him to not be able to go one moment in our day without Him, without His presence, without yielding our hearts to Him.

God pursues us with power and glory, unstoppable love that never ends. He is unrelenting with passion and mercy, unstoppable love that never ends. You can never be the same when those words register in your soul.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 09, Issue 15: Relentlessly Kind

I liked to see kindness categorized into various components, it really drove the point home for me. The contents of this post is taken from a YouVersion Bible plan titled "Kindness Changes Everything" provided by the Convoy of Hope from Hal Donaldson's "Your Next 24 Hours" book. We will see that kindness isn't a series of gestures - it is a lifestyle. It can't be random or something we do occasionally - it is intentional. So, what does it mean to be relentlessly kind? Let's dig in and find out.

• Be kind to yourself

In our quest to assist others, we must fist invest in ourselves. You won't be investing in anyone if you're chronically fatigued or emotionally spent. If you are unkind to yourself, you're probably sending the same message to others. Do you often compare yourself to others? Are you emotionally, physically or spiritually exhausted? When your kindness tank is depleted, find a way to get it filled up again. To live a kind life, we must be kind to ourselves first.

• Be kind at home

No home is perfect, every family faces its share of ups and downs. But a home founded on love and kindness can weather any storm. The way we were raised affects how we view the world. If your family modeled kindness, you are likely to follow suit. If they didn't, you can train yourself.

God demonstrated history's most radical act of kindness when he sent his son to die on the cross for our sins. Are you living in a way that honors and continues that legacy of kindness? The harmony you foster today, or the hostility you allow could be your legacy for decades.

• Be kind at work

Whether you're at the top of the corporate ladder or feel like you're at the bottom of the food chain, you can influence the culture of your work place. Many people spend more time at work than at home. Whether you spend time in a cubicle, house or fancy office, there's a circle of people with whom you regularly interact. Each day you have the power to influence someone: colleagues, supervisors or customers.

If you are living the dream, use your happiness as energy to demonstrate kindness at work. If you're unhappy in your current season, don't let that negativity affect your attitude and actions towards others. Remember, your vocation is merely a stage from which you can influence the lives of coworkers and the heart of the organization itself.

• Be kind to your enemies

It's impossible to agree on everything. But just because disagreements arise, and some people don't like you doesn't mean you're to be unkind or contentious. We've all been hurt by someone we once trusted. During his last days, even Jesus was betrayed by a close ally.

What if we start demonstrating kindness to those who are against us? Though you can't protect yourself from getting hurt, you can control your response. Remember, with a little good fortune and a dose of understanding, your enemy could one day become your most trusted ally.

• Be kind to people who are different from you

See people as opportunities to be kind. Look at those who are different as God's unique creations who are equally deserving of your love and respect. Each person on earth has been intricately knit by our creator. God knows, loves and pursues drug addicts, sex offenders and everyone in between. We should too.

That's easier said than done. But you don't have to agree with someone to love them. Jesus certainly didn't. In fact, he knew people were going to disagree with him and he choose to pursue them anyway. We ought to follow his example and be kind to people with whom we would normally argue with or simply ignore. Remember, tolerance is temporary and often forced. Love is never ending and freely given.

• Be kind to the poor

The poor don't need you to pity them, as if you're in some way superior. Rather, you need to communicate from a place of friendship, humility and sincerity. The Bible clearly instructs us to help the least of these, but it's easy to become overwhelmed when we consider the insurmountable need. Though you might not have a lot of extra money or time to give, you can do something. Remember, kindness is not about taking a vow of poverty, its about making a commitment to generosity.

• Be relentlessly kind

Occasional kindness has limited power but relentless kindness has the power to restore, inspire, rescue and unite. One of the best ways to show people God's love is by being kind. Kindness opens doors and bridges gaps. It repairs the broken and restores hope to the hopeless.

Kindness isn't a series of gestures - it's a lifestyle. Kindness can't be random - it has to be intentional. Kindness doesn't require much - yet it can change everything. Jesus demonstrated remarkable kindness in his final hours on the cross. Despite unimaginable pain and humiliation, he used his last moments on earth to bring another person into the kingdom.

If you try to be relentlessly kind on your own, you'll probably fail. But if you tap into the power of the Holy Spirit, he will enable you to extend kindness in greater ways than you ever imagined. With God's help, we can turn a moment of kindness into a movement, because relentless kindness is contagious.

This material has most certainly covered all matters kindness and exposed us to the different components of kindness that we may not have considered before. Starting with our pre-existing small and big acts of kindness, let's curve out the things we are going to do in the different categories we have explored to cement kindness as a lifestyle. We are going to be relentlessly kind all the way to eternity.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 09, Issue 14: Kindness, The Way To Be

I was out of town for work when I made my first call home, my office refers to such as safe arrival call home. My daughter was the first to answer the phone and after exchanging niceties, she went on to relay her disappointment for not having made the targets she had set for herself in her just completed school exams.

This was coming from a performance improvement plan she had embarked on a few weeks before upon my recommendation after realizing the class she was now in wasn't as easy as her previous classes. Well, that's to put it nicely. What actually happened is that I did put her in a performance improvement plan, she was just responsive enough to embrace it. Unfortunately, it turned out we didn't begin the performance improvement plan early enough to realize radical improvements as she had hoped.

As parents, we want our kids to do well in their studies and extra curricular activities. We help them set targets for themselves and we could be disheartened when they don't meet those targets. What impressed me about myself on the other side of the line when she told me that she fell shot of her targets and how disappointed with herself she was, is that I spontaneously turned into a powerful encourager.

I helped this young girl see that she had made good improvement under the circumstances, and that she was at a vantage point of surpassing her targets in the next exams as she continues with her performance improvement plan. She was already set on continuing with the plan through the school holidays and carry on with it when the new school term commences thereafter. I helped her see that she had proved that she is capable of getting back in the range of marks she used to get in her previous classes.

I was impressed when she called me the next morning, a Saturday, at the hour she used to wake up to study. She was already hitting the road running to prepare for the next term. Wow! All kids need is a lot of loving kindness and direction. She didn't need me to drum into her head that she needed to work harder. All she needed was a little encouragement. She needed to be told that it was okay even if she didn't do as well as expected, and more importantly, she needed to hear that I had faith in her, that I believed she was smart enough to succeed.

It gets to an age when we can't make our children do the things we want them to do. Our kids need us to show them the vision, then they take it from there, run with it. The manner in which we guide them, motivate them, and have them own the consequences of their choices makes all the difference. I remember telling my son that Friday evening when he got on the call that I was proud of him irrespective of whether he was going to meet his targets for his new class or not.

Treating people with kindness and respect has always been close to my heart. The morning after these conversations, I had just finished a 7 days' YouVersion Bible reading plan titled "Kindness Changes Everything" provided by the Convoy of Hope from Hal Donaldson's "Your Next 24 Hours" book when I turned to my notebook to jot down my take home from the study. I wanted to make a point to remember to be relentlessly kind. Then it occurred to me to share what I was learning. That had me going back to the first day of the study all the way to the last day to pick up all the nuggets I want to live by, so that someone else may get inspired to do the same. Let's explore all that next week.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 09, Issue 13: Organized Travel

This week I was working on an article titled “Just Show Up”, but a few things have happened in my personal space in the last 24 hours I decided to change trajectory for this week, and maybe the next two weeks to bring forth those thoughts whilst still fresh in my mind. What I want publish starting next week was birthed in a conversation I had first with daughter and later with my son yesterday when I made my first call home after arriving at my current location. The point came alive during my quiet time this morning as I started to jot down my take home from a 7 days’ YouVersion Bible study plan I had just completed.

As writing about that was settling in my mind, my trajectory changed again shortly after as I was getting ready to go to the gym when I noticed I was missing some gym gear. Being a highly organized person, I quickly picked up my phone to make a new reference list – a travel packing list. I usually make a temporal ‘what to remember to pack’ list a few days before travelling, but this trip was a bit rushed so I didn’t get to go through the motions this time. I started the packing process 3 days before the trip – got the suitcase out and started putting in it items as they came to mind over time. But since I wasn’t working with a list, I missed a few things by the time I closed the bags to hit the road. That's the problem of relying on our brains to store information as we saw in last week's post.

So, as I stood perplexed in front of my wardrobe to get dressed for the gym this morning, I picked up my phone to quickly put together a travel packing list to make sure I don’t run into the same dilemma on my future travels. Although I am not a frequent traveler, I prefer to have access to everything I use like I do in my home environment, so I tend to pack large. This being just a 4 days' trip, I started with a small suitcase before I realized it was a joke and switched to a standard medium-sized suitcase. Let’s go to the list I came up with this morning that would make a travel packing list for highly organized people that we could all benefit from.

• Hand luggage essentials

Before coming on this trip I visited my office’s security advisor’s desk to bring me upto speed on security and culture protocol for traveling to Hargeisa. One of the things he advised me to bring with me is a hand sanitizer to clean potential germs off my hands at airport screening points. I found this quite interesting for a mention, but he was right. Other hand luggage essentials on my list are hand cream, lip gloss, sun hat and sun glasses - as you may get off the airport or train station to a scorching hot sun, rain coat - although most airlines would give you one if its raining when you land, dental floss - if you are not friendly with toothpicks, pocket tissue - should you need to blow your nose, notebook and pen, or just your phone to jot down things to remember, ideas or thoughts that come to mind, reading material - unless you have purposed to use your travel and waiting time as zoning out time, and last but not least, ankle socks for getting through airport security gates where you have to remove your shoes and walk on dirty carpet.

• Equipment bag – part of hand luggage

When travelling for work, I like to keep my slim backpack laptop bag light with just my laptop, planner/notepad and laptop charger which sits in its special storage bag to keep it in place. With like-purpose items first in their own mini bags, the contents of my equipment bag include a book, head phones, travelling chargers and cables, power banks, iPod for my recorded declarations and music, quiet time notebook for morning pages, iPad – the platform where I organize my life, do Bible study, read and write, and last but certainly not least, phone for communication and socialization with family and friends.

• Refreshments

Being at a point where I have experimented and seen what happens to my body when I eat certain things, I like to limit my intake of processed foods as much as possible. Depending on the length of a flight, they may serve lunch/dinner and/or a snack, most of which come with processed carbs and something sweet for dessert and a drink. Although I enjoy the chicken or beef servings for lunch, I prefer to bring along my in-flight pie or wrap to substitute the processed carbs. The thing is, by the time that food comes around you will be ready to eat, because you probably left home at least 3 hours prior to your departure time to be at the airport 2 hours before takeoff for an international flight, and not significantly later for a domestic flight. So, to not fall victim to airport snacks and indulge in the in-flight processed carbs, I bring along my own snacks. Its also good to keep your water bottle with you, the one you empty before checking in as you will need it to store the water you are served on the plane if you know it's not good to take water right after your meal. And lastly, this may not be of interest to you but to limit my meals at the hotel to breakfast and dinner, I recently started to carry frozen smoothie packets for short trips when I know I will find a fridge in my hotel room. I am good with hotel breakfast as there are always a variety of healthy delicious options to choose from, but when it comes to lunch and dinner, I know the effect those have on my waistline if I overindulge. A glass of homemade smoothie for lunch fills me up enough to not require a big serving at dinner. Besides, I didn’t like how full I used to feel all day when I went for full board accommodation option. Managing portions at a hotel can be real challenge for some of us if you know what I mean.

• Accompanying accessories

In addition to your paired outfits, you should remember to pack the accompanying accessories for each. These include just belts and jewelry for simple dressers like myself. I have once ended up with a tuck-in trouser outfit without its accompanying belt, quite odd. Talking of belts, when dealing with young people’s grooming etiquette, we need to sensitize them that a belt is an accessory, not something meant to keep an over-sized trouser from falling off. Try and picture the scene of a young man at an airport’s security gate when he has to take off his belt at the screening point and his trouser falls off to his feet before he can grab a hold of it with all the other things he has to juggle. It’s quite a scene to hold off bursting in laughter.

• Exercise gear

My main form of exercise is walking. When home, I walk out in nature for about an hour, then work out in the gym for 30 minutes or so, 5 times a week and I like to keep this up when I travel. Depending on the location, I may have my walks on the treadmill. My just developed exercise gear list to pack for travel includes gym clothes, gym undergarments, gym gloves and walking shoes. Remember to include socks for your gym shoes. Walking shoes don’t require socks. Most people walk in gym shoes but I prefer to walk in true walking shoes as they are much lighter and built for comfort for long walks. When home, I change into gym shoes after my walk. When I travel, I usually pack just my walking shoes for space management as I can use them for both walking and a brief gym workout.

• Toilet bag essentials

Fancy hotels provide you with lotion, shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, shower cap, earbuds, safety pins, a sewing kit, comb, shoe shiner and a nail file, but some hotels don’t, so be sure to bring your own based on your needs just in case you find your room ill-equipped. Include a nail cutter to clip off a painful side of the nail cuticle. I remember once frantically searching for a nail cutter at a hotel’s front desk to no avail and vowed to always bring my own on future trips. This being my first time to travel here, my office’s human resources manager advised me to carry a towel and shower gel. Some hotels may not have trustworthy looking towels, so you want to be sure to have your own. Some places like Hargeisa have hard water, so I brought along my soap. Basic soap will hardly lather in hard water. You also need to pack face towels as not all hotels will adorn your bathroom with those for your baths and showers. Toothpaste is a must have, nobody gives you that, at least not a real one. A few hotels may give you a basic toothbrush, but just bring your own. Don’t forget your roll on and perfume to be sure you smell just right. I also carry flip ons for use in the room in case the hotel doesn’t provide. For beach travel, I carry water shoes or fitted crocs for walking on the beach and in the ocean as you never know what you are stepping on in the ocean.

• Swimming bag essentials

For this, I have a prepacked swimming bag in my wardrobe that I just pick and throw into my suitcase when packing. Its contents include swimming costumes, goggles, swimming caps and two sets of by-the-pool wear that ladies use over their costumes for decency and style when not in the water. You must have noticed by now that most of these items are at least two for each, going by the mantra two is one and one is none as we saw in last week's post.

• Other basics

We don’t have to mention undergarments and pajamas, as well as a set of evening wear so you don’t show up for dinner in the clothes you had on all day. Include socks on your list for use with your closed shoes, especially for men, and certainly for ladies too if you are packing sports shoes for your trip. If you don’t keep your shoes with laces on them after cleaning, remember to look out for that while packing. You absolutely must have your house keys on your list as you don’t want to have locked yourself out of the house when you return at a time when no one is home. Finally and most importantly, your traveling documents. I have a small traveling documents' wallet that holds my passport, yellow fever card, tickets, visa copies and boarding passes as relevant. I slip it in the side pocket of my hand luggage for ease of acess on the queues.

I am glad to have my travel packing list in place, customize your list based on your needs and preferences and travel smart.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 09, Issue 12: Habits of Highly Organized People

I wanted to study about the habits of highly organized people to see if there are commonalities to my attributes of organization. I found out that most highly organized people were not born organized, they learnt the art. I think being organized is not something to be left for a few people who we presume were born that way, we all can benefit a great deal from making an effort to be a bit more organized.

Before we talk about what highly organized people have in common, let’s consider some of the reasons why you should want to be more organized;

o You will be more focused on what you want to achieve

o You will be able to prioritize your tasks

o You will be able to set and achieve your goals more efficiently

o You will manage your time more effectively

o You will work more economically

o You will be more productive and less stressed

o You will achieve more balance in your life and be more flexible

o You might even have more energy and enthusiasm once you have achieved freedom from chaos

Highly organized people realize that like everybody else, they have a lot going on and it can be a real challenge to get in control and stay there. They therefore establish systems to govern how and when they do things. Here are some of the habits of highly organized people;

• They develop routines about when and how they do things

Highly organized people create a set of routines for things they have to do every day or week. This helps them manage their time more effectively and saves them the mental effort of continual planning and rescheduling. They turn their important tasks into routines and fit the rest of their lives around them, and not the other way round. Highly organized people determine the best time to study, to have quiet time, to exercise, to socialize, to do house keeping, to relax and so forth, and establish routines for each. They develop morning and evening routines for their regular tasks and activities for a smooth flow of daily life.

• They write things down

Highly organized people do not rely too much on their brains to store information. They understand that our memory is fallible, that things fade especially when we don't use them. When they want to remember something, highly organized people put it in a system that they trust. One that is not going to lose their data, is easily accessible, is easily searchable, and one that they can take with them wherever they go.

Do you sometimes come back from shopping to realize you forgot to purchase an item that you really needed to bring home? I maintain different lists on my phone, such as a grocery shopping list to record the things I need to remember to buy in addition to the standard milk and bread on my weekly grocery shopping errand. It's a running list that I delete from and add to every week whenever something I need to get comes to mind. I also maintain a meal prep list that I update every week with the different meals I want to make, a daily reminders list of the things I want to be sure to do in my day, a town list for what I need to remember to do or get when I make my rare trips to the city center, a house keeping list of what to do when, a list of movies I want to watch, so that when I sit down to relax with a movie or two, I don't lose time flipping through movies I may not enjoy, and so forth.

• They respect the value of putting everything in its place

Highly organized people have a place for everything and put everything back in its place after use. They give everything they have a home, so everything belongs somewhere and nothing is left lying around aimlessly. Books are put back in their assigned slots after each reading session, and they hardly have things scattered on their countertops. The few things on their countertops are there because the countertop is their purposefully assigned home. Everything I have has a home of sorts, a place where it belongs. Inside my hand bag or gym bag are a couple of mini bags that hold different things, such that everything or every set of like purpose things in the bag is first housed in its own bag.

• They keep a current and detailed to-do list

It takes planning to be organized. Highly organized people work backwards by starting with their end goal and then determine what smaller steps it will take to get there. They keep lists for daily tasks as well as for longer term projects either on paper or digital devices. They give themselves deadlines to help get things done and crossed off the list. To eliminate paper clutter and to have everything in one place and with me wherever I am, I maintain all my lists digitally. My lists hold me accountable to myself. One of my lists is generated from my goals' action plans where I listed down daily, weekly, bi-weekly and monthly actions that pop up accordingly, before hand to remind me, and afterwards for me to cross each off the list once completed.

• They live by the mantra two is one, one is none

Highly organized people have a backup of anything they use on a regular basis, especially if running out of that thing in the middle of their work will hamper the rest of their day or evening. If running out of something will cause an inconvenience in their lives, they make sure they have a backup for it. That way they can use the backup, go on with their day and then replace it when it is convenient for them to do so. I don't want to have to run out to the gas station in the middle of a cooking episode, so I have two gas cylinders. When one runs out I have it refilled soon after as I use the spare. I always have an extra packet of flour and everything else.

• They toss things daily and purge routinely

Highly organized people regularly declutter and get rid of things they don't need. They don't wait for a free weekend or an open block of time to get themselves and their lives in order. They constantly cross things off their lists and throw things away, re-evaluate what they own and tidy up their spaces and the way they operate. They may take a few minutes each day to get rid of expired food from the fridge, tidy up their desk or wardrobe, and delete old files and emails. To them, organizing is not a separate event, it's part of their day. I delete old emails every day, and I never need to set aside time to do a major tidying up of my wardrobe because I keep it tidy day by day.

• They don't spend more time and energy than they have to on organization

Organization is a means to an end. Highly organized people are deliberate about the things they accumulate, what they buy and what they choose to keep. They are careful to buy only the things that bring them value, joy and utility. They don't pick up things that aren't useful to them and end up cluttering their space. They understand that the more they own, the more energy and time they have to spend maintaining them and keeping them organized. Whenever someone is trying to sell me something I didn't set out to buy, I often pose the question, "where am I going to keep it, or what am I going to do with the one I currently have?"

• They don't wait for the weekend or holiday to enjoy basics

The same way they don’t wait for an open block of time to tidy up, highly organized people don't wait for the weekend to enjoy sleep. Because they understand the importance of rest in their success equation, highly organized people deliberately program sleep into their daily schedules to make sure they get enough sleep every night. I find it strange when people who don't work crazy hours say they can't wait for the weekend, or to take an extended break from work to sleep. Most highly organized people go to bed around the same time every night and wake up around the same time every morning irrespective of season.

Incase this got you interested in improving your levels of organization, the key is to keep it simple and not to aim for perfection, keeping in mind what's important - progress. Don't try to be organized to impress people, and don't hold back in order to fit in. Do it for yourself. Do it to enjoy freedom from the chaos that come with the absence of organization.

For His Glory,

Lillian Chebosi