Equipping young women professionals with young families to find fulfillment, contentment and joy as mothers and home makers without losing sight of who they are as women.

Volume 02, Issue 12: Evaluate Your Habits

As we reflect and carry out self evaluation in these last days of the year, let’s consider the activities we have been undertaking on our personal development journey this year. As we do, let’s ask ourselves these pointer questions.

What should I continue doing? This is a question of the things that maintain my momentum for personal development. Among the activities we undertake, progress demands that we continue doing what produces desired results.

What should I start doing? This is a question of the things that enhance my momentum for personal development. It is not that hard to start something new that promises a better future. Notwithstanding what we are used to, we ought to go with what works.

What should I stop doing? This is a question of the things that hinder my momentum for personal development. It is easy to continue doing what we have always done. What is difficult is to identify and discontinue what holds us back. To progress, we must deal with habits that no longer serve us as they used to. We must drop what no longer works and go with what works.

It is not just disparaging habits that we need to cut off. Sometimes we have to cut off some good habits, activities and company, who despite their appeal lead us on the road to nowhere. What are the seemingly good things that you have held onto that do nothing to progress you?

Do away with the actions that do not propel you towards the ideal of your values; and with the same zeal, embrace those that boost your values and have them lead you to a destination of a legacy that counts.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 02, Issue 11: Develop Daily Disciplines

A life lived with self-discipline for predetermined results is not an easy one, but the rewards of continual growth are worth the effort. It is the unwavering desire to be better that give us the staying power – a reason to get up every morning to do it all over again.

Ask yourself what you really want in life. Clearly establish why you want it, and then determine what you must do to achieve it. Athletes provide us with a good example. Having determined to win the race, they push themselves in training everyday in preparation for the race.

With time, your disciplines become part of the values you live by. Select your disciplines carefully, for your life will consist of the disciplines you choose to emphasize. Practice them consistently and they will add to your stature as an individual and distinguish you from the masses.

Schedule the things you want to do, for only what gets scheduled gets done. Be constantly aware that you must make things happen for the desired results. If you sit and hope that the right things will fall in place, you will in essence be letting life happen to you. Act on life instead of letting life act on you. Unless we become intentional in the way we glean and apply lessons in life, the growth that transforms will elude us.

We cannot sustain growth without consistent habits. Many achievers credit consistency in certain disciplines for their success. There may not be anything spectacular about my daily habits. What matters to me is that they produce my desired results. What are your daily habits?

Which activities generate the most passion within you? Where do you experience the most fulfillment, growth and return? Focus on that and consistently devote your efforts there. Develop daily disciplines around it. The kind of person you become is largely determined by the activities you choose to emphasize.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 02, Issue 10: Finish Strong

The curtains are drawing on the year 2011. We put down our goals at the beginning of the year, and it’s now about time to evaluate how well we have done. If you are like me, this is the time you feel like slacking off, not doing much. But I challenge us to finish the year strong, just like we began strong.

The disciplines that we worked so hard and sacrificed so much to ingrain in our system should not be relegated just because it’s the holidays. Otherwise, what is the point of working so hard to get something, only to have to work just as hard for the same thing again? Habits take time to develop. Don’t lose the constructive habits you have invested time developing this year.

It is indeed time to put your feet up and rest, but if you want to go far in life, some daily disciplines must continue, amidst the holidaying. Just because it’s the holidays doesn’t mean it’s time to shelve personal development – spiritual development, personal study, healthy living, financial well being or any other disciplines you have developed in the course of the year. If you slack on your disciplines now, you may have to learn them all over again in the new year, and that’s just a waste, isn’t it? There are plenty of new things to learn. Why waste 2012 relearning the lessons you have learnt in 2011?

Let not every year come with the same challenges and lessons for you. Learn your lessons well to avail yourself for new lessons. Get over and done with the challenges you had this year to embrace good disciplines, and free yourself for new challenges in the coming year. This way, you will be growing. We can’t be struggling with waking up early or making time in the evening to invest quality time in spiritual and personal development year after year. We need to get past the basics and embark on other developments in life, with a determination to succeed.

You can’t be struggling with managing your finances year after year. Learn the lessons and move on to other lessons. There’s plenty to be learnt but unless you have learnt one lesson, you are not ready to learn another. There has to be evidence of growth in your life. If you have trained yourself to manage your finances well so that you don’t battle with brokenness in the middle of the month like you used to, then you should by no means start the coming month of January broke as is the habit of many. It would be a shame. You have strived to get your life in order. Don’t lose it in the name of the holidays. Guard it with all the stamina you have left.

You worked so hard to attain your ideal size and all those health indicators the health specialists tell us about. You don’t want to lose that just because it’s the holidays. Who said the holidays is an excuse to eat badly? Exercise self control and love yourself enough to say no to indulging in things that contaminate your system. You probably got used to an exercise regime that works for you. Slowing down now would mean having to exert lots of effort to get used to it all over again. Is it really worth it? Aren’t there other worthwhile causes to commit your efforts to learn next year? Count the cost.

So arise and make a plan for yourself for the holidays. If you don’t have your own plan, chances are you will fall into other people’s agendas. Enjoy yourself, but as you do, don’t shelve doing the things that make you feel strong and successful. Remember that whatever good thing we build end up building us.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 02, Issue 09: Make the Most of Your Failures

Each day offers us opportunities to fail in different areas of life. In spite of all of our good intentions, we are prone to make bad choices and wrong judgments every now and then. We don’t always get it right in our work, in our relationships and in the general business of life. You may have lost money in a bad investment; lost your job or a promotion opportunity; or failed an exam. You may have failed to be there for a friend when they needed you most; or said hurtful things to people you hold dear in a moment of heated emotions. We can’t help it but get embarrassed and ashamed of ourselves when we fail. However, if handled well, failures can be stepping stones for future successes.

Sometimes we learn from our mistakes, sometimes we don’t. When we fail to learn from our shortcomings, we consciously or subconsciously choose one of two options. We either hold on to past mistakes or ignore them.

When we hold on to the past, we beat ourselves over it and hang on to our past failures as if they define us. The reason we hang on to our past failures is because we do not learn from them. It is hard to let go of the past if we have not learnt from it. When we hang on to the past, we deny ourselves the chance to live to our full potential.

When we ignore our failures, we behave in a manner that shows that we don’t want to think about the mistake we made and wish to move on as though it never happened. By doing this we don’t learn from our mistake and enlist ourselves as obvious candidates for making the same or similar mistake in future. Wisdom dictates that we squarely look at the mistake and learn all there is to learn so that we do not repeat it.

There is something valuable to learn from your failure. Learn from it and then let go of it. Admit that you cannot change the past but you can learn from it. When the same situation arises, you can do things differently. When we behave in the same way, we get the same results. But when we behave differently, we get different results. We afford ourselves the possibility to get the results we want.

The reality is that we are bound to fail from time to time, however elaborate we make out our plans to be. It helps to admit this and choose to befriend our failures rather than let them distract us from our goals. If we have not learnt from the past, we are not ready to create the future we want. When we befriend our failures, it becomes easier to quickly rise up after a fall. Because then we know that our failure does not define us; that despite our shortcomings, we are made for greatness.

Choose to live a life that is free of regrets by acknowledging that you have made, and will continue to make mistakes. Get past them by picking out the lessons you need to learn.

Lillian Chebosi

Volume 02, Issue 08: First Impressions Are Lasting Ones

For most opportunities in life, you have only one shot to get the attention of the people with the power to promote you. You’ve got to be ready for the camera when the lights go on. Prepare yourself to make a good first impression in the areas you want to leave your mark.

It could be a job you are seeking, a promotion, a valued position, or even a spouse. When opportunity meets preparation, things happen. Doors open, favour is released, a promotion is extended to you, or a proposal is made to you, depending on whatever it is you are seeking.

You must know how to dress the part. In order to win friends and influence people, you must put your best face, as well as best foot, forward. You must make a good first impression, because first impressions are lasting ones.

What importance do you place to your physical appearance? How you look, in terms of the attire and accessories you present yourself in before people in a position to advance your standing in life matters. The first impression they get of you may determine whether or not they extend to you the opportunity you are qualified for.

People look at what is obvious to the eye. Your exterior should complement the genius you present to the table. Always dress from your head to your shoes as if you are one complete picture, then select the profile you want to present. Everything should work in harmony to put you in the best light.

First impression is not just about your physical appearance. Sometimes it is how you behave yourself. You could be new in a group but hold back your involvement in the affairs of the group. You could do this by either sitting back and fail to contribute ideas; or not showing up for functions to offer support by your presence; or you could hold back volunteering your skills, or committing your resources to support the group. If the group was considering extending an opportunity to you, they are likely to revoke that consideration on the account of your laid back stance.

How confident are you when you appear before a panel of interviewers, or an audience that will evaluate your performance at the end of your presentation? The first impression you make may determine whether or not you get another opportunity, or even a long-term engagement.

Make a good first impression and enroll yourself as a viable candidate to a host of exciting opportunities.

Lillian Chebosi